


The Voice Within Me

by SakumaKiriya



Category: The Last Kingdom (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:15:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24395626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SakumaKiriya/pseuds/SakumaKiriya
Summary: When a 14 year old girl loses all of her family, she is taken in by her uncle only to serve as a slave girl. A year filled with nothing but abuse, till one night she manages to free herself only to find herself caught up into an ambush of Danes who are inviding Wintanceaster. When life cannot get any worse she is saved by Uhtred, and taken along towards the Swamplands where she will have to rediscover herself.Alongside Uhtred she will start a completely different way of living, she'll meet new people and discover secrets about herself she didn't even know she was hiding.Follow Kiara as her life changes into one she could have never imagined.
Relationships: Sihtric (The Last Kingdom)/Original Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 44





	1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there!  
> I haven't written any fanfic's in a while, yet I could not resist writing one for The Last Kingdom after watching all four season's in a row!  
> This story will become a slowburn between my oc and Sihtric.  
> The story contains abuse and none-explicit rape!  
> I have no beta-reader for this story so my apologies for any small mistakes. I have tried to pry them all out!  
> Note that English is not my first language either, but I try to do my very best ^^  
> Constructive comments are always welcome.  
> Enjoy!

"Good luck on the battle on Aesces Hill. I will pray for a good outcome." My mother said giving my dad a small kiss on the cheek before hugging my older brother. “Be save.” She spoke softly as she held my brother close. "Promise me you will look after your mother." My dad said giving me a kiss on my forehead as I smiled at him. "I will, always." I replied before turning to my brother. “Don’t try and be the hero okay?” I asked, hugging him tightly. “What can I say, you cannot deny what I will become.” My brother joked as I laughed while letting him go. With one last look at the both of them, they went off to battle. My father, Osmund, was the advisor of the Ealdormen of our land and my brother, Osgyth, being already in his late teens, grown up with a sword in hand wanted to join him on the battlefield. Without them it was just me and my mother, Gwyn. She was once again pregnant with child and nearly due. She disliked the fact that my father had to go off to battle this close to the delivery of the child, but she knew he had no choice.

Slowly the days passed by, praying every day for their safe return. Today I had gone to the market to buy some extra food as winter would soon be upon us. I lived in a small estate near Wintanceaster. Being this close to the main city of Wessex we would reside there from time to time when my father and the Ealdorman had business with the King. I preferred my quiet live out here, much over that in the always busy Wintanceaster, which was the complete opposite of my brother who desired to one day become a guard for the King. As I made my way home I passed a couple of villagers, greeting them with a friendly smile. Yet as soon as I approached the front door of our house, heaving breathing and screaming could be heard from inside. "Mother!" I yelled as I ran inside, putting the groceries away immediately. I entered her bedroom to find her laying upon the bed, sweating, moaning, panting, the delivery had begun. I went to grab some cold water and a cloth against the sweating as I sat at my mother’s side. I stared at her, at a loss for what to do. On the day she had found out about her pregnancy she had declined any help from a midwife, much to my father’s dislike, but he had granted her his permission nevertheless. I grabbed my mother’s hand tightly as she screamed, whilst I prayed to God. “Please give my mother the strength to deliver this baby.” I begged the Lord as I closed my eyes while holding onto my mother’s hand. Delivering a baby was always a great struggle with a reasonable chance of losing a life. “You have been through it before, you can do this mother!” I encouraged her as she screamed again while all I could do was continue my prayers.

In the meantime the battle at Aesces Hill had begun. The Danes had been taken by surprise, as King Aethelred held the upper hand, using the higher grounds. Still, the battle was far from an easy victory. Whilst my mother fought her own battle at home, my father and brother fought theirs alongside the fyrds of Wessex. My entire family was fighting and all I could do was pray, pray to the Lord to protect them, so we could all see the newest member of our family. But my prayers were left on deaf ears as they had not been answered.   
The battle on Aesces Hill was won, but not without casualties. The King had been severely injured and would probably not recover from his wounds. But it wasn’t just the King who had gotten badly injured. A lot of soldiers had given their lives for our future, amongst them were both my father, who had given his life to protect my brother, and my brother, who was killed shortly after seeing the death of his father. I had lost them both in a matter of mere seconds.

At home, my mother used all of her remaining strength to push one more time, fully delivering a healthy boy. I grabbed the boy carefully and warped him into a warm blanket. “You did great mother.” I said as I looked at her, handing her the newborn. She still panted heavily and smiled softly yet weakly. “I’ll name him Oswin.” My mother’s voice was weak and nearly inaudible. Slowly her eyes closed and her grip around the newborn weakened. “Mother?” I voiced out, concerned when she did not reply. “Mother!” I tried again, shaking her shoulders in the hope of waking her. “Mom!” I yelled this time, but she did not reply. She did not open her eyes ever again. I looked horrified at the unmoving body, frozen in place. Suddenly I heard the soft cries of Oswin, turning my thoughts back to reality. I grabbed the newborn from my mother her lifeless body. “Ssh, it’s all right now.” I spoke softly, as I looked at him. “You will be fine little one. You’ll be fine.” I spoke to both the baby and myself as soft tears dripped down my face. In just one day I had lost them all, my family, my home, my safe hold. All that was left now was Oswin, and I would protect him with everything I had. 

After the dead of my family I had made my way towards Wintanceaster, in order to seek refuge with the nunnery over there. Our home village was small and did not contain one. I knew I did not have all the means to keep my little brother alive, I hardly had enough to come by myself. I needed help and if I had to become a nun in order to do so, I did not mind. It took about three days on foot to reach the main city of Wessex. I carried Oswin upon my belly, in a sling. Upon my back I had a small backpack filled with some apples and milk for the travel, given to me be some of the villagers of my hometown. They had understood my decision to leave after they had heard the terrible news that had befallen my family and wished me the best in Wintanceaster. The travel was harsh and I got little rest as Oswin cried nearly all night, yet would sleep during the day while I moved on towards Wintanceaster. 

Exhausted I reached the city, slowly making my way towards the nunnery. One of the nun’s cleaning outside immediately noticed me as she walked towards me. “Are you alright Lady?” She asked kindly as I tiredly smiled at her. “I would like to join your nunnery.” I spoke weakly yet hopeful as the nun looked concerned at me before looking at the little one hanging upon my belly. I could imagine what she was thinking, and smiled softly. “He is not mine.” I spoke as the nun looked back at me. “My mother passed during childbirth.” I explained as she looked compassionate at me. “My condolences, yet she is with the Lord now.” The nun spoke friendly. “What about your father?” She asked truly concerned as I looked down at Oswin his sleeping face. “My father and brother both gave their lives during the battle at Aesces Hill, leaving just me and him.” I explained as the nun put her hand upon my shoulder. I looked at her as she smiled at me yet said nothing. “Let us get you inside. You must be tired from your travel.” The nun said as she turned around and started walking towards the nunnery as I followed her closely. 

I was immediately accepted into the nunnery as I followed their every rule, whilst taking care of my little brother, with the help of an older nun, the abbes of the nunnery called Aldith. Yet even with all the help my little brother fell ill with a sickness. I prayed for him day and night, begging the Lord not to take him away from me as he was all I had left. But even with all the prayers form several nuns my brother’s health did no increase, it never did and he passed away being just 10 days old. That night I wept by Oswin his bedside. It felt like time itself had stopped, that none of this could be real, yet it was. I wept for the loss of Oswin, but also for the loss of my mother, my father, my brother. I wept for my entire family as all had been taken away. I was left alone, scared, lost and without a proper course in life. I wept the entire night, till all tears had dried up in my eyes and I had fallen asleep near the lifeless body of Oswin. 

Three moons had passed since my arrival at the nunnery as winter had turned into spring. I welcomed the warmth of the sun after all the cold air of winter. Slowly I had come to accept the passing of my family and to enjoy my new life at the nunnery. The nun’s had taken great care of me after the loss of Oswin, giving me all the time and space I needed to overcome the tragedy that had befallen me. Yet when it felt like time finally started to move again, it took just one man, one simple man to stop it all over. On the first day of spring my Uncle, Osric, had come for me. “Kiara, your Uncle has come for you!” Abbes Aldith spoke happy to hear I still had some family left, but little did she know about my uncle. Osric might be my uncle by name, but not by blood. Osric is Osmund his elder brother, but Osmund had not been my real father. My mother used to be a slave, yet I do not know where as she never spoke of it. Neither did I know how my mother ever escaped, but by the time she did, she had found herself pregnant. My mother had made her way to Wintanceaster, pregnant, with no silver nor man to provide for her. That was when she met Osmund and he had fallen in love with her at first sight. He did not care that she was caring someone else’s child, and so they got married. I was given an older brother by marriage, and he a little sister. Most men in our village recognized me as my adoptive father’s real daughter, yet some questioned my heritage, but we did not speak of the truth outside the house. My mother never spoke of my real father, and with her gone I doubt I’ll ever find out. Unlike my father, my uncle cared little for my mother. He only saw her as a whore. Getting herself pregnant yet marring his brother, it never sat well with him. But as long as my father had been alive he would look after us, my mother and I, and protect us. But without him, I could only imagine what my uncle would do to me. 

“I heard he has come for me.” I replied with as fake smile. “But I wish to remain here.” I spoke, hoping she would let me but the abbes shook her head. “You must go and be with your family, after all you have been through, the pain you have suffered. This is God’s way of showing you mercy.” Aldith said as she grabbed my hands. I smiled at her, hiding my uneasiness. “In that case I will join him.” I spoke most reluctantly, but the abbes did not seem to notice. As I had no belongings I immediately made my way towards my uncle and his man, alongside Aldith. “My little niece.” Uncle Osric greeted me with that smile of his. “Lord Osric.” I replied formally. “No need to be so formal.” The man replied, acting decent just for his own sake. “I have heard what has happened to my brother and his wife, along with your brothers. I would like to care of you, till you come of age.” My uncle said as I looked at him. I had no right to refuse him, this I knew all too well, so all I could do was nod. “I would be most happy to.” I lied yet my face remained unchanged as I joined my uncle upon his horse. I heard him sniff the smell of my hair, holding me far much closer against him then I felt comfortable with, yet I did not protest. I knew it would only make things worse, so I endured, for now, for a long time I would endure.

Once we arrived at my uncle’s estate, his friendly behavior from at the nunnery was all gone. He had turned back into the man I had come to know as a child. A vicious man, with little, if any at all, care for woman. “Lock her up!” Uncle Osric ordered his man, as his guard grabbed me from behind and dragged me towards a cell, underneath my uncle’s house. I was chained up around my ankles so I couldn’t run. I was made a slave, losing all my freedom. My new slavery life started simple, providing food and pouring ale for my uncle. “Another cup girl!” My Uncle demanded as I grabbed the jug of ale and brought it towards Osric, pouring him another cup. “Now leave!” He said, pushing me back so hard I nearly fell down. I hit the wall behind me, keeping me steady. “Yes my Lord.” I spoke softly as Osric looked at me. “I can’t hear you.” He said, emphasizing each word. “Yes my Lord!” I spoke louder this time, nearly yelling as he laughed along with his man. Slowly I made my way back towards my cell. I sat in the corner, hugging my knees as I sobbed softly, yet I would endure. I will not lose myself to these men, I must endure.

As time passed by I started to lose track of time. I did not know how many days I had been here, how long I had been a slave for. I hadn’t seen the sun in what felt like ages, and started to mesh up day and night. Without any light I had no factor of indicating time. Slowly I felt my strength starting to fade. I had lost a lot of weight guessing by how loose my dress had started to fall over my slender body. My hair was a complete mess, yet I had stopped caring about my appearance long ago. But, the worst part of it all was that I had become the favorite slave girl of one of the guards. The man would be watching me almost constantly when I was outside my cell, and later on even in my cell. He would touch my arse, my legs, my belly, even my breasts every chance he got. Luckily for me, my uncle refused to let the men get his way with my body. He needed me as a virgin. It would make my price go up when I got off age. This was the only decent part about my uncle for which I was grateful. 

Yet after I guess 5 moons, my uncle had left to fight a battle against the Danes. It would become a day I would never forget. During the night, or at least I thought it was, I was laying down in my cell, sleeping as peaceful as possible only to be woken up startled when I heard someone open my cell. I sat up immediately, hiding within the corner. “Ssh, no need to hide now.” I heard the familiar voice of the guard. Fear hit me immediately. “Y-you c-can’t touch m-me.” I stammered, gathering all my courage to speak back to this man. “Your uncle Osric isn’t here to save you tonight.” The guard said with a smirk, one so evil it hardly looked human. “If he finds out… he will kill you!” I spoke, hoping he would reconsider as he slowly approached me. “He will not find out.” The guard dared as I tried to hide myself as much as I could in the corner, hiding my head between my legs, covering myself with my arms. “Tonight, you are mine!” The guard yelled as he grabbed my arms. “No, no please no!” I begged as he dragged me towards him. “Please NO!” I yelled desperately but it was useless. The man removed my dress and there was nothing I could do. I struggled, I kicked around in order to protect myself, but my weak body was no match for this man. He pinned my hands above my head with one hand, using the other to unleash his pants. “No!” I screamed one last time as he forced himself inside of me, humping me. Tears screamed across my face, eyes shut. I did not have to strength to scream anymore as I knew, help would never come. It burned, it hurt, it felt like all my strength and all my pride was leaving me. At the age of just 14 all had been taken from me. All my life I had been taught that God was good, that he was filled with love, but that night I felt nothing, no God, not his love, just pain and embarrassment.

A week later my uncle returned. It had been a great victory apparently. A strong Dane called Earl Ubba had been killed by a man called Uhtred, yet Odda the Younger had taken the claim of the Danish warlord’s death. This fight had been the reason of my violent abuse… This battle had been the reason for my abuse, one I would not forget. Still, even though I listened to the stories the soldiers spoke of, I couldn’t care less about their heroic victory, as it was my greatest loss. My lifeless eyes stared in front of me as my uncle kicked me from my left, demanding me to stand up. I tried, but found I had no strength left for the day. “Go back to your cell where you belong.” My uncle spoke, no longer taking much interest in me, now he had a new slave girl. This girl was older than me. She had already come of age, but was no adult yet either. I made my way back towards my cell, laying down upon the floor, staring into the nothingness. Days passed by, turning into months and after 2 new moons I started to feel different. I would get nauseous without any good reason, throwing up nearly every morning. After the passing of another moon, the reason why became obvious as my belly started to swell. I was called in by my uncle as he smacked my face, demanding me I explained to him how this had happened. I didn’t dare to speak, as my uncle smacked my face again, and again, and again till I could no longer hold my tongue. “The guard! On the night you left for battle!” I yelled, tears streaming down my face. My uncle smacked me one last time, so hard, I fell onto the ground as he dashed out of the room. I sobbed upon the ground, holding my already swollen cheek. 

After the beating by my raged uncle I never saw the guard again, and can only imagine what had happened to the man yet I did not care. He deserved whatever he had gotten. 2 more moons passed as my belly grew with each passing day. Along with the growing of my belly, grew my hatred towards this child. All it reminded me off was that awful night. I did not want this child, I did not need another newborn dying on me, not now and maybe not ever and for the first time in ages it turned out that God had heard my prayers. With barely enough food to sustain my own body, I had not enough food to care for this child inside of me. At only 6 months pregnant, the delivery started. I had feared this moment from the day I had realized my pregnancy. It had been what had killed my mother and countless other woman after all. An elder woman was brought to my cell to help with the delivery. “One more push!” The woman said as I moaned, and used all the strength I had left to push. The delivery was all but fruitless. I had lost blood, lots and lots of blood, barely hanging onto life as I pushed the baby outside of myself. I lay down tired like never before, as I closed my eyes, till I realized the woman in my cell hadn’t spoken a word since the baby had come. Neither had the newborn made any sound. I sat up startled as I looked at the woman, who held the boy tightly, yet he was not moving. His body looked small, much smaller than Oswin had when he was born, he looked grey and lifeless. “He did not make it.” The woman said as I felt both nothing but relieved. I did not have the strength to care for it, nor the necessities, nor the love it would deserve. “I see…” Was all I managed to say as the woman warped the body of the newborn in a cloth, covering his entire body. “And…” The woman spoke softly. “I doubt you will every carry another child.” The woman added, surprising me. “Why?” I asked panting. “My child, it’s a miracle that you are alive after such a delivery.” The woman said. “The only other woman I have met who made it through such an ordeal never carried again. The damaged it does to our body is too great, it makes it unable to bear anymore.” The woman explained as I sighed of relief, feeling happy never to go through this again. I lay down upon my back, tired, so tired, that without even realizing, without even caring the slightest about the loss of my son, about the fact I could never have child, I fell into a deep slumber.

Over the course of the next days all I did was sleep and eat. I was too weak to stand after the amount of blood loss, too weak to move after the delivery, too weak to even care. Yet over the next two moons I did regain some strength, till I was finally able to walk around and pour ale again. 

One day, I had just gone back to my cell. It was probably late at night, as most men had gone to their homes. I lay down, in the hope of finding some sleep yet I couldn’t. Slowly the hours of the night passed when suddenly screams could be heard. I got up, knowing that something was off, that something wasn’t right. I grabbed the bars of my cell when suddenly a dark figure rushed towards my cell. As the man stopped in front of my cell I realized it was my uncle Osric. Surprised and scared to see him down here, I stepped back immediately. “Come here!” He yelled and grabbed my arm. “We are leaving now!” He demanded to my surprise as he dragged me along, up to his main hall when it hit me why. A fire. The hall was covered in flames and smoke, making it hard to breath let alone see. I coughed heavily as my uncle dragged me along the hall, trying to find his way out, but I soon realized that he was lost due to the smoke. I felt the heat of the flames burn my skin and the smoke damage my lungs. That’s when suddenly, a miracle happened. One of the wooden poles of my uncle’s main hall had come loose due to the fire, trapping my uncle underneath of it, yet sparing me. “Kiara help me!” The man demanded as I looked at him, struggling to get free, but he could not move more than his arms. “I am your Lord, I demand you free me!” He ordered as I simply stared at the man, not feeling a single emotion. I looked aside, finding a sword, recognizing it as my uncles. Only then did it hit me, we hadn’t been lost, the madman had tried to get his sword before fleeing the burning house and it had cost him his live. I walked towards the piece of metal, ignoring my uncle’s yells. “Kiara!” He yelled as I grabbed the sword before turning to him. “Kiara, help me now!” He demanded as I looked without any remorse at the trapped man. “Never speak my name again.” I said coldly and without a second thought I grabbed the sword with both my hands running it through his throat, killing him. I heard my uncle chock in his own blood, and he deserved it. I released the swords as the blood flowed from the wound, covering the floor. Slowly I turned around as I left the burning house, undamaged. Sword still in hand I walked on, passing all man and woman who were trying to put out the fire with water. Slowly I slipped away into the darkness of the night.   
And finally, after being a slave for at least 11 moons, after enduring for 11 moons, I had regained my freedom.


	2. A Danish Raid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second chapter of this fic!  
> We will get to see some canon characters this time.  
> The story takes place at S1E7.  
> Enjoy!  
> Constructive comments are always welcome!

Weakly I stumbled onwards, trying to find my way back to my old home. I hadn’t been there since the death of my mother, but I needed some new clothes as the one I wore now were dirty, covered in mud from my cell and in bloodstains from my uncle. Yet if it had only been for the clothes I would have made my way to Wintanceaster. No, there was something else I needed at home, my brother’s spare sword belt, to sheet my new sword within. As I made my way towards the north, I got a lot of attention from the people I passed by. A girl covered in blood with a sword wasn’t your everyday view after all. But after everything I had been through I wasn’t planning on ever parting with the weapon again. I had been deprived of my freedom for long enough, no one would ever take it from me again, no one would ever use me again and I would make sure of that myself. In this world ruled by men, I wanted to learn how to protect myself. I had come to realize how foolish I had been back in the day, wanting to safe my little brother, while I couldn’t even save myself… But those days were over. During the past year I had become a completely different person, a new me. I had always had a deep desire to learn how to fight with sword and shield but had never given in to this feeling, but now, I was ready.

After walking for days on end I finally reached my old village. The sun had just set, leaving me in darkness which I used to my advantage. I was in no state to meet anyone familiar. Quickly and quietly, I made my way towards my old house, finding it with ease even in the dark, I knew the way around the village by heart after all. I slowly opened the door, hoping now one would have claimed it as their own after it had been empty for so long. Luckily for me, the house was still unoccupied. I sighed of relief as I walked inside, staring at the once so familiar rooms, only to find them dusty. I light an old candle to get a better look around, as everything had remained untouched. Everything was still in the same place it had been the day I had been left. For a moment it looked like everything could go back to normal, as if nothing had ever happened, just for a moment. Soon reality came crashing back to me. I walked towards my old bedroom, which I had shared with my brother as I grabbed some fresh clothes from my closet. I looked at my favorite dress. It was a simply, forest green dress with short sleeves. I stared at the dress for what felt like a life time but in reality were just a few seconds. I sighed as I put the dress upon my bed, before making my way towards my brother’s closet, grabbing some pants. I would never be an easy target for man again. I stripped out of my dirty clothes and started with putting on the brown pants, before putting my green dress over it. It felt weird wearing pants, yet I felt secure and that was what mattered the most. I went through my brother his leather armory soon spotting his spare waist belt along with the empty sword sheet. I warped the brown, leather belt around my waist, tying it tightly before grabbing my sword, sheeting it. The sword felt heavy upon my left waist, a feeling I needed to get used to. One more time I went through my brothers armory, grabbing two arm bracers. They had the same color as my belt, dark brown. I struggled for some time to wrap them around my arms yet managed it after a couple of minutes. As I finished my new dress up I turned my attention to my hair. I used my old brush to help with the tangles, before gently braiding my dark brown hair.

When I was finally done with my new appearance I took a deep breath before looking down at my new outfit. As I looked at myself I felt like I was looking at someone else, someone foreign, yet it was me. I grabbed some boots from my own closet, before leaving the house. I felt the tears dwell in my eyes as I looked back at it, one last time. A place that held so many precious memories, but also a place I could never return to anymore, a home lost forever. I blinked my tears away, and look ahead and with a steady pace I left my old house, my old village, my old life behind. 

After leaving my place I had decided to go towards Wintanceaster. I would start with visiting the nunnery before I went in search of someone who could teach me how to fight. I was still young and had plenty of time to learn, yet the fact I was a girl would be to my disadvantage. But I had made up my mind, and I would not be let down if it didn’t work out from the first time. The travel towards Wintanceaster took a little more than a day. As I reached the city I stopped just a few feet away from it’s entrance. I felt my heart race in my chest, as I breathed heavily. I looked at the people entering and leaving the city, all talking or laughing. After making my escape I hadn’t really been in touch with any people up till now. I had barely even thought about it, but seeing them now scared me. I felt mostly scared about the men I did not know. I hadn’t know my uncle’s guard either, yet he had wanted me… Still I knew I needed to at least act strong in order to prevent becoming a target again. I had a sword at my side, and if I didn’t look at them I would be fine, is what I told myself over and over again till I believed it. That was how I convinced myself and with one last deep breath I made up my mind and entered the city of Wintanceaster. Slowly I made my way amongst the once so familiar streets back towards the nunnery. I looked around the market as if it was the first time seeing it in my life, yet in some sense it was. I was no longer the girl who had become a nun in an attempt to save her brother. I was seeing everything in a different light now. I felt my stomach twist as the memories of the night of the fire returned to me. Back then I hadn’t felt anything about what I had done. Yet over the course of the past few days that had changed. Bit by bit my senses and feelings had started to return. First came the fear of men, now the sickening idea that I had killed a man, a terrible one, yet a man nonetheless. 

Lost in thoughts I had reached the palace. The yelling of people turned my thoughts back to reality as I noticed that people were gathering. “What’s going on?” I whispered to myself as I neared the crowd. For a second I stopped my movements, fear taking over, afraid of what I might see, till curiosity got the better of me. I shook my head, clearing it of all my fear as I slowly made my way towards the center of the circle. In the middle stood three man, one I recognized as one of the main guard of the King. My brother had often spoken about him yet I had forgotten his name as up till now I had cared little for the King’s guards. One of the other man I had seen before as well. I recognized the man as one of Lord Odda’s men, yet did not know his name either. And last but not least my eyes wandered towards the third person. He looked like a Dane, yet at the same time he looked Saxon. My eyes lingered on the mysterious men, intrigued by him, till I pried my eyes away from him. 

“Are you ready?” The royal guard asked as both man looked at each other. I stared at them, trying to read them. From my perspective they did not wish to fight. “Grab your shields.” The royal guard added as the man did as they were told. Swords pointing at each other, the royal guard put his sword in the middle. “Fight!” He yelled as the men started their fight. I looked at them for just a second before turning as I left the fight. I did not wish to see more then I had. I wasn’t ready to see more dead just yet, as another memory of my dying uncle appeared before my eyes. I shook my head, trying to clear my mind as I left the group of people and made my way towards the nunnery. 

When I finally neared the nunnery I immediately noticed the young nun, Maelgwn, was once again cleaning outside. I slowly made my way towards her, clearing my throat to catch her attention. Her eyes shot up startled. “Lady Kiara!” She said surprised with a smile. “It’s good to see you!” She added as she walked closer towards me. “It’s good to see you too.” I replied, trying to force a smile. Moving my lips upward felt foreign as I hadn’t smiled in a long time and judging from the look of the nun’s face I failed miserable. “What brings you here?” She asked as she inspected my new outfit, her eyes immediately lingering upon the sword at my side. “I…” I stopped for a moment, collecting my thoughts. “My uncle has passed.” I explained as the nun looked shocked at my. “What happened?” She asked, sounding horrified. “There was a fire…” Was all I managed to say, before fresh tears entered my eyes. “You poor soul.” Maelgwn said, as she stepped forward, wanting to embrace me, but in a reflex I stepped away from her. “I am sorry, I just…” I stammered, not wanting to explain my distant behavior. “It’s alright. Let us go inside. I am sure abbes Aldith will be glad to see you.” Maelgwn said as I nod and followed after her. 

Once inside, Maelgwn let me towards my old room. It had been used in my absence but was once again unoccupied. I sat down upon the soft bed, waiting for abbes Aldith to arrive. I touched the soft lining of the bed as memories returned of my life here. The loss of my brother had been a terrible experience, yet my life here had been good. Softly a few tears rolled over my eyes, as I sobbed quietly. If I had just stayed that day…  
“Kiara?” I heard abbes Aldith her voice, as I wiped away my tears instantly before turning around to face her. “Abbes Aldith.” I spoke standing up straight. The abbes looked at me from head to toe as she told Maelgwn to leave us alone. “I’ve heard about your uncle.” The abbes started as I nod, yet found myself at loss for words. Abbes Aldith walked towards me while I had a hard time not to move away from her. I closed my eyes as she stopped right in front of me. “I should have noticed…” She spoke softly, touching my cheek. I opened my eyes startled at her soft and gentle touch as new tears formed in my eyes. “I should have noticed that man would not treat you kindly.” Aldith added as the tears rolled over my cheeks, one after another. “Abbes Aldith.” I said between my tears, as she pulled me into a tight embrace, while I wept hiding my head into her shoulder. “Sssh, it’s alright now. You are safe here.” Aldith spoke soft, comforting words as all I could do was cry. Ever since I had left my uncle’s place I hadn’t cried, not like this. I had remained strong, I had endure, but now… I finally felt safe, I finally didn’t have to endure anything anymore. For now I could be weak, I could cry, I could show my hurt.

Slowly my sobbing subsided yet the abbes still held me close. I felt the warmth of her embrace, the softness of her dress. Finally I started to relax in her embrace, when suddenly screams from outside could be heard. The peaceful atmosphere that had been created immediately disappeared as the abbes released me, looking behind her as the door flashed open. “Sister Madalwynn.” The abbes said as the sister looked horrified. “The Dane’s…The Danes have come!” She yelled as I felt all blood leave my face, feat hitting me. “No, no, no!” I yelled as Aldith looked at me, her face determined. “Follow me!” She ordered as she grabbed my hand, dragging me along the halls of the nunnery. “Where are we going?” I managed to ask as she lead me downstairs towards a place I had not been before. “Use this passage.” She said as she let me go. “It will lead you to the stables. Find yourself a horse and run.” She said as I looked at her. “What about you?” I asked concerned, knowing very well what Danes did to people who were true to God. “Do not worry my dear.” Abbes Aldith spoke softly grabbing my hand. “Bring yourself to safety.” She added with a warm smile. “Quickly now, go!” She said as I give her once last look before turning around as I ran through the passage never looking back. It would be the last time I ever saw the abbes.

Once I reached the end of the passage I opened the doorway above my head, climbing out of it. Just like the Aldith had said, I was right behind the stables. I swiftly made my way towards the horses, only to find none left. “Please God no.” I said scared as I checked ever spot but found not one horse left behind. I took a couple of deep breaths trying to think straight. “What do I do, what do I do?” I spoke to myself, walking back and forth with a steady pace till it hit me. I looked at my left side my new sword coming into view. I grabbed the handle with my right hand, shaking as I unleashed it. It felt heavier than it had been the first time. I took another deep breath, tightening the grab around the sword. With one determined nod to myself I left the stable, luring in the shadows, hoping to find my way outside of the city one way or another. I knew that if it came to battle I did not stand a chance, yet holding the piece of metal gave me some peace of mind, providing me with just enough courage to move. 

I hid behind a corner checking for anyone in sight. When I found no one to be seen I moved around the corner when suddenly out of thing air a sword came slashing towards me. In an instinct I moved my sword above my head to block the attack, only to fall backwards on my butt. The force of the impact was much greater than I had expected. I closed my eyes scared, moving my free arm to cover my head. “I am sorry!” I heard a male voice. I slowly opened my eyes as the man grabbed my wrist pulling me up. “I thought you were a Dane.” The man added. I looked at him, my eyes widening in fear by his touch as I tried to free my wrist before I stood up straight, only leading to me falling back down. I looked up at the man, shaking and unable to hide the fact that I was afraid. The man looked at me as I stood up myself, still shaking with a sword in hand. I looked at the men’s eyes, showing he meant me no harm as I tried to calm my reaching heart, only then realizing who was standing in front of me. “Y-you… you are Lord Odda’s man, are you not?” I asked surprised to see the man who had been fighting just now. The man opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by another voice.

“Leofric, this way!” I jerked my head sideways not seeing the person who had spoken before looking back at who I presumed was Leofric. “Come with me.” He offered, trying to reach for me as I moved backwards. With one last look at me, the man turned around. “O.. okay.” I said as the man looked at me with a soft grin upon his face as I followed after him. He walked towards an empty house meeting with the man who had called out to him. “Who is she?” The man demanded more than asked as I now stood face to face with the other man who had been fighting, the Dane like person. “Just a girl, now go!” Leofric replied as he entered the house as I followed after him. The inside of this place was simply and small with a staircase in the middle. “We hide here and wait till night falls.” The Dane like man instructed as I looked at him. He didn’t seem too friendly and I made a mental note to myself not to get too close to him. Only once the Dane like started climbing the stairs I noticed a woman standing in the room. She had long, wavy, black hair and wore a blue dress. She followed the Dane up the stairs. Soon Leofric made his way towards the stairs as he stopped his movements for a second to look at me. “Are you coming?” He asked as I nod. “Y-yes.” I spoke softly as I put my sword back into its sheet before climbing up. 

Once upstairs I made my way towards one of the corners, trying to put as much space between myself and the Dane, or well both man, as I could. I hugged my knees tightly as I watched the trio intensely, wondering how I had got caught up in this mess. I closed my eyes, as I silently prayed to God. Praying that these man were different from my uncle, that they had some honor. I softly opened my eyes as I saw the Lady approach me. I looked at her, reading her ever move, preparing myself if need yet she smiled friendly as me. She sat down, not too far away from me, but not too close either. “Are you hurt?” She asked, concern noticeable in her voice. “N-no. I am…” I stopped midsentence as I bit my lip. I might not be hurt physically due to this ambush, yet I wasn’t fine either. It remained silent between us for a moment till the Lady broke it. “What is your name?” She asked more carefully this time. “I am called Kiara, Lady.” I replied, trying to sound as politely as I could. I looked at her face for a second, trying to read her eyes before speaking again. “What is yours, if I may ask?” I asked. “My name is Iseult.” The woman introduced herself, her kind smile never leaving her face.

Once more there was a silence between us. It felt as if the Lady was searching for the right words to say, the right questions to ask. “You seem quiet young to hold a sword.” Iseult pointed out as I looked at her a bit surprised by the fact she made a statement about my age and not my gender. “The sword…” I paused for a second, considering if I could be honest with her. Her smile and body language told me I could trust her, at least up to some point. “It isn’t really mine.” I replied my voice no louder than a whisper. “I took it from the man I…” I stopped midsentence once again, not yet ready to speak about what I had done. I turned my gaze towards the two men instead, studying them intensely. “Do not fear them. They won’t harm you.” Iseult tried to reassure me. “Who is he?” I asked pointing slightly at the Dane. “The man Leofric I recognize as one of Lord Odda’s men, but the Dane...” I said looking at Iseult who chuckled. “He is no real Dane, although he might disagrees with me on that. He is called Uhtred.” Iseult explained. “Uhtred…” I repeated softly, remembering my uncle had one time spoken of him, one particular story burned into my memory. “He is the man who killed the Dane Ubba is he not?” I questioned, wondering if this was the same Uhtred. Saying this immediately took Uhtred’s attention. “How do you know?” He asked taken aback. I shivered in my corner, fear filling my eyes. “I will not harm you, I just wish to know.” Uhtred spoke more friendly this time as I nod, taking a deep breath. “Yes, Lord.” I spoke shyly, my voice still shaking. “M-my uncle…” I gulped at speaking of him, remembering the night I had heard the story. “He had spoken of your fight at Cynuit, about the dead of the Earl Ubba.” I explained honestly. “Young Odda took the claim for his death, how did your uncle know?” Uhtred pressed on as I flinched at the sound in his voice. “He was one of the man at the fight himself. That’s how I know I swear!” I said shaking, hiding my head behind my arms with my eyes closed. “Arseling.” I heard the man called Leofric say. I slowly opened my eyes to look at the man. The look upon Uhtred’s face surprised me. I had imagined he would be mad, or at least irritated because that was how he sounded, yet the look upon his face was the complete opposite. I could see compassion in his eyes as he looked at my shaking figure. I slowly removed my arms from before my head, returning them around my knees. “I… I am sorry.” I spoke softly. “I do not have a good experience with… men.” I explained my weird behavior as the apparently not Dane nod. “You should rest while you can. We will be moving by night fall.” He explained, his voice calm and collected for which I was grateful, as I nod in reply. I turned my head at Iseult who offered me a comforting smile, which I tried to return. In a way I was grateful to this people, as without them I would be enslaved again. I closed my eyes, leaning my head upon my knees. Today was going to be a long day after all…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's how she meets Uhtred and his friends.  
> Hope you enjoy it!


	3. The Swamplands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there!  
> Thanks for the kudos!  
> Enjoy!

During the remaining part of the day all four of us had been silent, hiding in the attic. I may not have said anything out loud, but my mind had remained occupied all day long. Memories of my slave life haunted me every time I dared to close my eyes, and the thought of becoming a slave again to these Danes, was one I couldn't bear. Not now, not just after regaining my freedom. It felt like the day went on forever, but in the end the night fell. However, as the sun was setting three Danes burst into the room, holding a nun captive. Startled by all the noise, the four of us looked down at the scene beneath us. I looked horrified at the nun, who kept screaming over and over for the Danes to stop but they did not. I closed my eyes tightly, covering my ears as my own pleading screams returned to my mind. How I had begged the night of my...

"Iseult no!" Uhtred spoke suddenly as I opened my eyes startled, looking at him, my thoughts returning back to reality. Iseult had jumped down onto one of the Danes in an attempt to save the nun. Leofric and Uhtred followed after her killing the other two Danes. For a moment in time I felt frozen and afraid, but I had decided to become a new me, to fight back. I took one deep breath before I made my way down. I saw the nun grab the dagger from Iseult as she killed the man who had humped her, stabbing him in the chest over and over again. The anger that fueled her was something that still lingered within me as well. I stared at the nun, admiring her courage for being able taking the life of the man who humped her against her will. It took me a couple of seconds before I realized the fact that I had taken a life myself. No the one who had humped me, but the one who had made it all happen. "They are gone, it's over." Iseult reassured the nun, as I turned my look towards Uhtred and Leofric. "What do we do now?" I asked looking at the two man in the room. "We cannot stay here. We need to be gone ourselves." Uhtred realized soon enough. "So where do we go?" Leofric asked, looking at his companion. "Put on the helmet, we are Danes." Uhtred explained as Leofric looked at him. "Again?" He replied as I looked at him. The word 'again' triggered something within me, intriguing me to reply, yet I decided to remain silent. "You will not be leaving me right?" The nun asked, still frightened after what had happened to her, looking at the men for answers. "No, no we will not." Iseult replied kindly. "But how will we escape?" I asked, fear filling me, yet I tried to suppress that feeling. "I-I mean... We cannot dress up as Danes?" I asked sounding more secure than I felt when Uhtred threw a robe towards Iseult. "You are our prisoners." He replied as my eyes widened in shock. I took a step back, stumbling over a bucket. All eyes lingering upon me as I stared at them. "I..." I stuttered to find my tongue. "I can't be a prisoner!" I yelled frightened of the idea. "I can't be... not again... I..." I stammered not making any sense as Uhtred walked towards me. "Calm yourself. You will not be a real prisoner." The man said as I stared at him. "We need to get out of this place, and this is the only way." Uhtred tried to reason with my frightened mind. "I will not let the Danes take you, I swear." He added as I nod. "A-alright." I replied as I tried to stand up. Uhtred offered me a hand as I looked at it longer then I should have, but in the end I accepted it as he pulled me up.

I made my way towards the other two woman as Iseult tied my hands together. I looked at her, as she offered me a reassuring smile. I returned it with a small smile of my own. "Are you are sure this is going to work?" The nun asked harshly as I turned my head to look at her. I could see the fear in her eyes, and I felt an urge to reassure her, that I had been through the same as her yet I was still living and breathing, but I knew that I was in no position to support anyone yet. After Iseult had tied the nun her hands as well, Uhtred tied Iseult's and handed the rope to Leofric who by now was dressed up as a Dane. With one last glance at us Uhtred spoke. "We move." He ordered and with that we left the house.

Slowly we made our way through the streets of Wintanceaster. They were filled with Danes, with blood and dead bodies. I looked around the streets yet I felt less horrified by the dead and the blood then I had imagined. I felt scared, yes, but not because of the slaughter, more of the idea of getting caught. We walked along the market, screams could still be heard from around every corner, till a sudden voice stopped Uhtred and Leofric their movements. "Uhtred the Saxon." Spoke the voice while I turned around to see a female Dane standing right behind us. She was covered in dirt and blood. "Brida." Uhtred spoke hopeful as he walked towards her, but she had no intention of helping him, this much was clear at first glance. She lifted her axe up, telling him not to step closer. "What's this. You mean to do me harm?" Uhtred asked, surprise clearly noticeable in his voice. "I haven't decided." Brida replied calmly. "It's good to see you again, Brida." Leofric bumped in as I looked at both men, wondering how these men new a female Dane. Iseult had told me that Uhtred was not, not a real one at least. As time passed by I started to get more interested in this man called Uhtred.

"Leofric." Brida replied as she looked at the man. "How did you manage to get such a big head into such a small helmet." She insulted him. "It was necessary." Leofric replied simply. I saw how Uhtred tried to approached Brida again, but she simply stepped back. "Why are you doing this?" Uhtred asked confused by her behavior. "Where's Ragnar? Is he here?" Uhtred spoke again after a short silence. "He is almost ready to travel north." Brida replied. "To kill Kjartan?" Uhtred asked, sounding quite sure about his reply. "What do you care?" Brida asked irritated but Uhtred did not reply. Brida sighed before speaking up again. "The guards at the gate will be drunk. Your way is clear." She said, helping us after all as she walked away. "Brida." Uhtred said, stopping her movements as she turned to look at him. "Tell Ragnar that I am still his brother." Uhtred said taking me by surprise. I looked at the man, making myself a mental note to one day ask him whether he was Danish or not. "I'll tell him that you were here and that you left." Brida replied before leaving us. Uhtred stared after her disappearing silhouette. "Arseling." Leofric said, as Uhtred looked back at us and without saying another word we moved on and left the city of Wintanceaster behind.

Once we were sure we were far enough not to get caught by any Danes, Leofric released our wrist as we decided to rest for the night, settling near a river. The nun went to was her hands and arms, while Leofric, Uhtred, Iseult and I sat around the fire. I was lost in my thoughts. How did things turn out this way... I closed my eyes, holding my knees close to keep me warm. All I wanted after freeing myself from my uncle was to return to the nunnery at Wintanceaster, to start a new life and now... Now I was once again running for my life, with people I barely knew. Deep inside me I still doubted whether I could trust them or not, but they had kept me save so far and promised not to let me be taken so they were worth giving the benefit of the doubt.

"Brida has changed." Leofric was the first to speak after setting a fire. "She was always angry, now she is nasty." Leofric pointed out as I looked at him. "Either she has changed or I have changed." Uhtred said staring into the fire and sighed deeply. "She once loved you, not anymore." Iseult added as I looked at each one of them, gathering all my courage. "Who is this Brida person?" I asked curiously, my voice no louder than a whisper, as all eyes fell on me. "I-if you don't mind telling me." I added quickly. "Brida and I grew up together after being enslaved and later adopted by Danes." Uhtred explained with ease, shocking me. "So then you and this Brida are Saxons?" I asked more daring this time. "By birth yes." Uhtred replied, yet I could clearly see a 'not anymore' in the look upon his face. "What about you?" Leofric asked suddenly. "A girl with a sword is no common sight." The man pointed out as I sighed. "I uhm..." I started, staring at the fire. "I was captured by my uncle, after the dead of my parents." I started, holding back the urge to cry again. "I managed to escape a few days ago during a fire. I stole a sword to protect me on the road back to Wintanceaster." I explained turning my gaze towards Leofric as the nun sat down next to me.

It remained silent after that for a while till the nun broke it. "I hate the forest." She said but no one replied. I looked at her for a second before returning to stare into the fire. The forest was the least of our problems... "Where is your wife." The nun spoke suddenly eyeing Uhtred, catching my attention. I looked up to look at the nun first, before moving my eyes towards Uhtred till I finally turned my gaze towards the Lady Iseult. If Uhtred had a wife, then who was the Lady Iseult to him? "I know you are married to the Lady Mildrith." The nun added as Uhtred sighed before responding. "She will have sought refuge." He started. "With the church." He added with clear disgust in his voice. "She used to come to the nunnery." The nun continued talking. "I would pray with her and I watched her as she changed." Uhtred looked annoyed at the nun for speaking so disrespectful but did not reply. Instead Leofric spoke up this time. "Why does a woman become a nun?" He asked. "Because of her love for God, for God will never abandon her." The nun said as I grinned at her statement. "God doesn't care that much then." I spoke, surprised by the force of my own voice as I felt their eyes on me. "Who says that." The nun asked irritated by my behavior as I looked up at her. "You were humped against your will." Leofric pointed out as well. "Were was God?" He asked. "He sent you." The nun replied fiercely as I looked at her. In a way she had a point and I admired her strength, yet I did not agree with her. Where had God been when I had been humped. If God was still watching over me, and that was a big 'if', he had forsaken me long ago.

Another silence filled our small group till the nun broke it again. "Is the King likely to have been killed?" She asked looking at each one of us for answers. "The King is not our concern." Uhtred replied boldly. "If the King is dead, then Wessex is dead." Leofric bit back looking at his friend. Suddenly Iseult stood up and walked away from the fire. "Were are you going?" Uhtred asked. "I need darkness." Was all she replied as she walked away. "She needs darkness for what?" The nun asked the same question that was on my mind. Uhtred sighed before replying. "To see." He said as I raised an eyebrow at his reply. "That doesn't make much sense, now does it?" I replied looking at him. "Iseult has powers and she needs darkness for those to work." Leofric explained to me as I looked at him. I had heard stories of people who held special powers, but had never believed in them. "You should rest, we move at first light." Uhtred said as I looked at him. "To where?" The nun asked, but neither man replied and with that I lay down upon the ground, using my arm as a pillow. I closed my eyes as I was used to sleeping upon the solid ground yet to my surprise, sleep found me easily that night.

From the day we escaped Wintanceaster we had made our way towards the West of Wessex. As the days went by, slowly I started to get used to the people surrounding me, feeling more at ease with each passing day. I had realized just after a couple of days that these men, Uhtred and Leofric, were completely different from my uncle. Neither of these men ever looked at the nun, who's name turned out to be Hild, nor me like we were some object to use. I spent most of my days speaking small conversations with the Lady Iseult. She had told me that she used to be a pagan Queen for the King of Cornwallum. After the dead of the King, who had been killed by Danes, she had come along with Uhtred as both had fallen in love the moment they had met. Next to Iseult I also spoke with the nun Hild from time to time. She had come from a different nunnery at Wintanceaster then the one I had been at, yet she knew the abbes Aldith and was sad to hear of her loss.

The road we walked upon the first couple of days had lead into a forest and slowly changed into a land I had not seen before. It was muddy with long grasses, hiding us within. Up front walked Uhtred leading our group, followed by Iseult. I walked behind her next to Hild. Leofric walked at the back. "Leofric, where are we?" Hild asked as we marched on. "We are at the marshlands of the Severn. The Swamplands." Leofric replied as I looked around the unfamiliar landscape. "I have never seen lands like this before." Iseult said sounding tired yet we marched on. Suddenly Uhtred stopped as I looked at him. "What is it?" I asked curiously as I could not see anything beyond these lands. "Priests." Uhtred replied as Leofric walked up to his friend. "In fear." He added when the whining of a horse could be heard. "Danes..." I said, fear hitting me. "God preserves us." Hild spoke frightened. "Time to fight, Arseling." Leofric said, grabbed his sword as Uhtred did the same. The man looked at the approaching horseman as they dashed forward, ready to attack. Hild, Iseult and I ran after them, making our way towards the boats along with the running priests. "Get in!" Iseult demanded and she did not need to ask twice. Hild climbed in first, followed by a priest as I followed close behind them. "Uhtred!" Iseult yelled towards her lover before getting into the boat herself. I looked at the two man fighting off the Danes.

Leofric was the first to finish his kill as he ran towards us. "Arseling!" Leofric yelled, more Danes on horses marching towards us. "Come on." I whispered, adrenaline rushing through my veins, my heart racing in my chest. Finally Uhtred ran towards us as he and Leofric pushed the boat into the water before climbing into it. Leofric sat down next to Iseult, as Uhtred used a wooden pole to move to boat along, taking us out of reach for the Danes.

The Danes yelled furiously from the shore, before returning back to their army. I let out a sigh of relief once I was sure we were save, for now. "I hope you are caring silver priest." Uhtred said, as I looked at the priest sitting next to me. "We just saved your life." Uhtred added. "I am saved by ghosts it seems." The priest replied, revealing his face from underneath his hood, shocking us all. The priest was no one else but our King, Alfred. "Lord, thank God you are unhurt." Leofric said, relief clearly noticeable in his voice. "I was blessed." King Alfred replied. "And your family?" Leofric asked. "They are save. They are in the boat ahead. Hoping to find sanctuary in these marshlands." King Alfred explained. I looked at Uhtred his displeased look upon his face. "At the palace Lord, they came from nowhere." Leofric continued speaking as I turned my gaze towards the Marshes instead. "They did indeed." King Alfred agreed. "They came because they were allowed to." Uhtred bumped into the conversation. "Where were your watchers? Your spies? On their knees no doubt." Uhtred said annoyed. "You should show respect!" Hild replied as Uhtred looked at her. "Wessex allows it's warriors to kill each other and spends too much time on their knees, too much money on its churches." Uhtred barked back as I looked at him. The anger was clear from his voice, he seemed no stranger from the King either which once again intrigued me about this man. How did someone as Dane like as Uhtred ended up to be acquainted with the King? "If Guthrum were Christian and not Pagan there would be no war." King Alfred replied. "But he is not." Uhtred spoke harshly yet the truth. "You will do well to remember that I am King." Alfred pressed on being treated with respect. "King of what? Look around you?" Uhtred said as he pointed at the marshes. "He is our King!" Hild yelled, disagreeing with the half Dane. "Yet like every kingdom before it, Wessex has fallen. Now he is just Alfred, a man, King of nothing." Uhtred pointed out harshly but he was right. Alfred had fled from his own Kingdom with good reasons, but it also made him just a man.

After the conversation between Uhtred and the King all of us had remained silent for the rest of the boat trip, no one dared to speak another word as the tension between the two of them was felt by every person on this boat. Slowly the Severn came into view, along with its inhabitants and the Lady Aelswith, carrying her new born son and het daughter besides her. As the boat aligned with the shore we carefully got off it, stepping onto the bridge. The people lead us around their village which was well hidden in these swamplands. We had been given a place to stay and to rest, for which all of us were grateful. I had decided to join Hild in search of fire wood of the night. Together with the nun we made our way to a small forest on the opposite side of the river. "You used to be a nun?" Hild asked, grabbed a couple of branches from the ground. "Yes, but that was quite some time ago." I replied softly grabbing some branches myself. "What made you leave?" She asked, sounding honestly interested. "I was taken away by my uncle." I replied, as I stopped my movements for a second, remembering that horrible day. "Did abbes Aldith allow this?" Hild asked taken aback. I turned to face her and shook my head. "My uncle... he acts nice around people, but he is far from a gentle person." I explained why abbes Aldith didn't stop me that day. Hild looked at me with a soft look. I was sure she could guess what I must have been through from the cold look within my eyes. "Is that why you were at Wintanceaster when the Danes attacked? Were you returning to your nunnery?" Hild asked as we strolled on through the woods. "In a way yes." I replied staring ahead. "Still, I was not planning on becoming a nun again. I am choosing a new path in my life." I explained with a soft smile, my first honest smile since escaping. Hild returned mine with a smile of her own as we turned to a lighter subject.

I had come to like my small conversation with the nun as we walked back towards our place in the Severn once we had gather all the wood we could carry. It felt refreshing to speak so easily with someone, it suppressed my mind from over thinking and trapping me inside my memories. For this I was the nun ever grateful. Just when Hild and I returned so did Iseult, as she started making some sort of drink. During our travel to the west I had learned that Iseult was a pagan, just like Uhtred, much to Hild her dislike, yet I was curious to what she was making. I had not seen her do this during our travel on the road. I put the fire wood next to Hild's before making my way towards Iseult.

"What is it that you are making?" I asked as I sat down opposite of her. Iseult looked up with a smile. "It's a tonic to ease pain." She replied as I looked at her with a confused look, none of us were hurt after all. "It's for the King." She replied as if she read my mind. "The King?" I said startled, not knowing he was in pain, or why a pagan Lady would be helping a Saxon King. "Yes, he is sick and I would like to help him." Iseult added as I looked at her. "Even if he is a Christian and you are... not?" I asked feeling at a loss. Iseult chuckled before looking at me. "We are not so different." Iseult replied. "Over the years this land has started to merge with both Danes and Saxon's and if King Alfred wishes to create his united land of an England, both men will have to find a way to live in harmony." Iseult added, her wisdom surprising me. "Is this what you have seen? A land with both Saxon and Dane?" I asked as the pagan Lady stopped her movements for a second. "Not yet..." She replied as she looked at me, the look upon her face surprising me. "What is it?" I asked, slightly taken aback by the sad, yet sympathetic look. "It's nothing." She replied as she continued her tonic.

I moved my eyes from the Lady Iseult to Uhtred then to Hild and later on to Leofric. A land formed by both Saxon and Dane... Iseult's words lingered in my head as I watched our company which consisted of that what had yet to be made, a group of both Dane and Saxon, both heathen and Christian. I didn't know why, yet this idea filled me with more joy then I had felt in over a year. Yet it would not take much longer before I would come to realize why this idea overjoyed me, as I hid a secret that even I did not know myself, a secret that would change me once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are at the Swamplands! I really loved this part in the series, as it showed a soft side of Alfred, at least I thought it did ^^'  
> And Kiara holds a secret...  
> I am not sure if it makes it any interesting, but I try to make it that way, instead of blindly following the original storyline we all know already.  
> Anyway thanks for reading!


	4. Craving a New Path

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Chapter arrives!  
> Enjoy!

Slowly the days had gone by as living in these Swamplands had become close to normal. Most of my days I would spent time with either Hild to help with the cooking, the collecting of fruits and vegetables or fire wood, and sometimes I would spent my days with the Lady Iseult gathering herbs as she told me of their usefulness. Some herbs were good against pains, other for healing wounds, yet most herbs were poisonous. It turned out that Iseult had a lot of knowledge about herbs and was considered a healer. Not as often as I would like I would help her with making her potions, a useful skill I wanted to learn more about.

Sadly today was no such day. I had just returned from gather more firewood in the forest when I returned to our residence. Hild had gone to help cook the meal for the evening. Iseult had gone back to the woods in search of more herbs and Uhtred had gone somewhere with King Alfred. A few days ago they had sent the priests away, in order to spread the word about the King’s survival. The relationship between the Saxon and nearly Dane still intrigued me, yet I had no right to pry into their business. With almost every one of our travelling group gone, it left just me and the man Leofric. I looked at the man, who was sharpening his sword with a stone. He was sitting at the other table, across from the one I was sitting at. Ever since our arrival here I had come to trust my travelling companions, but I had still barely spoke with either men. I opened my mouth a few times, trying to find the right words to say, as without this man I would not be sitting here today. I took a deep breath to clear my mind of any doubt before speaking up. "Thank you." I spoke out of the blue, catching the man's attention. Leofric look at me, slightly confused. "For taking me along, back in Wintanceaster." I added as the man grinned. "I never properly thanked you." I concluded as the man continued sharpening his sword. "No need to thank me. It would be brutal to leave a child behind." Leofric replied as looked at him. "I am no child." I protested, my voice louder than I had intended to. Once more the man looked at me, surprised by my reply. "I might indeed still be young in age, but I am no child so please do not refer to me as one." I spoke more collected this time as Leofric nod. "Then I will not." Leofric replied, looking at me as if he was waiting for me to give him some kind of permission.

"If there is something on your mind, you can ask me." I said with and small smile. "How did you escape your uncle?" Leofric asked a fair question. Judging from the look upon his face, he had been pondering over this question for a while. "A miracle." I replied as I looked at my feet. The night of the fire still haunted me in my dreams, but I found it more easy to think about during the day as time passed. "There was a fire during the night..." I started looking at the swamplands. "I do not know how the fire started, but I had some value to my uncle. That's why he came to release me from my..." I paused for a moment, before continuing. "My cell and dragged me along. Yet the main hall had already been covered in flames and smoke, making him lose his way in the main hall, and as a miracle he got crushed underneath a wooden pole, while I remained untouched." I explained remembering what came after, yet kept that part to myself. "After his death I rushed outside, making my escape." I concluded as I turned back to look at Leofric, looking bravely at the man. "That's a miracle indeed. You must be one of God's favorite to survive such an ordeal." Leofric replied slightly taken aback by the story. "I doubt I am God's favorite, I feel more forsaken by him most of the time, but a miracle it was indeed. That is something I cannot deny." I said as I looked at the sword Leofric was holding. "I have a nephew around your age." Leofric said suddenly, taking me by surprise. "I just cannot imagine how your uncle could do those awful things to you." He added as I chuckled. "Not all men are as honorable as you or Uhtred." I replied with a slight grin staring at my feet.

"My I ask you something as well?" I said, looking up to face the man, staring right into his eyes. "That would only be fair." Leofric replied, giving me permission as I nod my head. "I have been wondering, how did you come to meet Uhtred as he is a Pagan and you are a Christian?" I asked, eager to hear his reply. "That's quite a story." Leofric scoffed as I smiled at him. "I have time." I joked as I looked at him. "Please?" I asked nicely as the man sighed and give in, telling me how he had met the Dane like man. It turned out that Uhtred had sworn a year of serves to King Alfred after the dead of Uhtred's adopted Dane family. Uhtred had taught the Saxon army how to use a Shield Wall, a strong defense move used by the Danes. As the year had gone by Uhtred had been at multiple battles alongside the Saxon's, as he and Leofric had become close friends. "That's quite a moving story." I said, sounding happy. "Dane and Saxon..." I whispered only for myself to hear as my conversation with Leofric ended.

Soon after, Hild returned with dinner. It was a freshly made stew, filled with homemade vegetables from these lands. I slowly started eating the stew, my stomach still getting used to the new amount of food it got these days. Not long after both Uhtred and Iseult returned as well, joining the three of us for dinner. It went by quietly all enjoying some silence yet comfort in being together. Slowly the sun had set behind the horizon, as the night had come. The people from the swamp had provided us with some furs to keep ourselves warm during the night, and two hammocks to sleep in. Iseult used one of them, Hild and I shared the other. I didn't feel like sleeping on my own in this unfamiliar. I did trust my traveling companions, yet I did not trust all the people of these lands. I just needed to be extra careful in order to give myself some peace of mind. As I lay next to Hild underneath the warm fur we could hear the cries of the King's sickly son. Over the past days his cries had become more frequently and it reminded me of the cries of Oswin when he had been sick. At first the cries of the child had filled me with sadness making me remember the loss of Oswin, yet as time went by I started to realize that it wasn’t them and got used to it. I saw Uhtred speak softly with Iseult probably about the child.

I turned around to face Hild who looked up at the ceiling of the small wooden shack. "Do you think the child will survive?" I asked the nun as she turned her head to look at me. "That is not something for us to decided. Only God can decided his fate." Hild replied as I sighed, turned upon my back. "Isn't there something we can do to help him? Or his parents? Both the King and the Lady look tired." I spoke, looking at the residence of the King. "I doubt there is little we can do." Hild replied as I turned to face her again. "Then what about Iseult? She has special healing powers does she not?" I asked. Inside of me an urge to help this little boy had grown within me. The idea of seeing another child die filled me with dread, making me unable to sit still and watch without doing anything to help. "She is a pagan." Hild replied, not even considering to ask Iseult for help. "She is helping the King with his stomach pain." I reminded the nun, not liking the way she spoke about Iseult. "She saved you!" I added as Hild sighed. "I did not mean it in such a way." Hild spoke, looking at me. "But I doubt the Lady Aelswith or the King will allow a pagan woman to save their son." Hild explained as I realized what I had just done, accusing her without a second thought. I felt deeply embarrassed as I looked away from her face. "I am so sorry, I shouldn't have-" I started but Hild shushed me. "It's alright, do not worry, I am not mad at you." Hild her voice sounded soft as she put some hair behind my ear, making me look at her. The nun smiled softly at me. "Still I am sorry for my words." I spoke again as she grinned. "Then I accept you apology." Hild replied as I grinned at her. "You should rest now, you will need your strength." Hild continued as I nod, closing my eyes as I welcomed the sleep.

I woke up early next morning, just before first light. I sat up straight and looked around to group to find they were all still asleep. The fire had gone out at some point during the night, leaving me in darkness. I closed my eyes, evening my breathing, trying to stay calm. Telling myself that I was not alone and had no reason to be afraid, when suddenly the cries of the King's son could be heard. I turned my head towards where the sound came from, before gently getting out of my hammock in order not to wake Hild up. I slowly made my way amongst the bridges towards the King's residence, to find the King awake, holding his crying son. I stared at him from a small distance, feeling like I had no right to intrude, yet I had already been noticed. "Did he wake you?" King Alfred asked, looking at me as I shook my head. "No Lord, I woke up myself." I replied as I stepped forward, entering his house. I looked at the tired King, before I lingered my eyes at the boy. "I could take him from you?" I suggested looking at Alfred. "Just for a minute of course! So you can rest Lord." I added quickly, hoping not to offend the man. I could see he considered my offer from the look of his face, before agreeing to it. "That would be nice yes, thank you." King Alfred said as I walked towards him, while he handed his son over to me. The boy felt warm within my arms, he was definitely suffering from a fever. I gently rocked to baby, speaking softly to him. "Don't cry now, it's all going to be okay." I spoke gently as I kept rocking him. "My wife and I take turns during the night." King Alfred spoke suddenly as I looked up at him. "But he will not stop crying." He added as he sat down, hand upon his stomach, showing his was in pain. "I doubt he will stop crying before he is healed." I replied to the king as I walked around the small room, rocking him as his cries got slightly less and less.

"You are good with children." Alfred noted as I smiled awkwardly at him. "Not really." I replied giving him a quick look, before turning my gaze back at the by now sleeping baby. "But I... I once had to care for newborn." I explained as I stared at the small child within my arms, wondering what would have happened if Oswin had survived back in the day. He would have turned 1 around this time of the year. These thought filled me with joy when suddenly urge to cry filled within me. I hadn't just lost Oswin... Up till now I had never really cared about the loss of my own child, but seeing this little one here... Maybe if my child had been born alive, who he have looked like this one. They would have been around the same age after all. Small tears appeared in the corner of my eyes, yet I tried to suppress them from falling. "Are you unwell?" King Alfred asked, as I looked at him, wiping the tears away. "I am sorry my Lord. It's just... I have a rather complicated history when it comes to newborns." I replied, with a soft smile as I rocked the little one within my arms. "You would be most welcome to look after him sometime, if you want." Alfred said suddenly, taking me by surprise. "Me?" I said startled as I looked at him in utter shock. "Yes. It would give my wife and myself some rest..." Alfred started as he walked towards me. "And I haven't seen him sleep this peacefully in a long time." The King added as he looked at his son, before offering me a slight, yet grateful smile. "I... I am not sure if I am the right person for this, but with your permission I would like to try." I replied with a soft smile as the sun started to rise above the horizon. "I should head back to the rest for now." I said, gently handing the King his son back, hoping not to wake him. "Thank you for your help." Alfred said as I smiled at him. "Thank you as well Lord." I replied and with that I left back towards my own group.

Once I had arrived, Hild had already left to help preparing breakfast and Iseult had left towards the woods to get some new herbs for the King's medicine. As I entered our residence I found both Uhtred and Leofric sharpening their swords. "You left early this morning." Uhtred stated as I sat upon my hammock. "I woke up early yes." I replied as I looked at my own sword, still sheeted and left aside ever since we arrived at the Swamplands. "Is it important to keep sharpening your sword?" I asked curiously. "Aye, if you want to keep killing with it." Uhtred replied without looking at me. "He means, to use a sword it needs to be sharp." Leofric said, explaining it more decently then Uhtred as the nearly Dane looked at his friend. "What other use does a sword have but killing?" He asked as Leofric sighed while I chuckled. "Then I suppose I need to maintain my sword better." I said as I grabbed the piece of metal from underneath the hammock before making my way towards the men. Both stopped their movements as I sat down near them, unleashing my sword. I looked at the edges of the sword, they indeed looked blunt as I softly touched them. "So how do I keep it sharp?" I asked innocently as I had never done this before. Both men stared at me, before sharing a look between them. "I do not think it is something a woman needs to know." Leofric said as I looked at him. "But I wish to learn how to fight one day." I replied taking both men by surprise, judging from the look of their faces. "So I will also need to learn how to keep my sword sharp." I added with a smile. I heard Uhtred sigh, turning my head to look at him. "You are not fit to fight." Uhtred pointed out the obvious as I looked at him. "I know... I am painfully aware of that..." I started staring at the sword that had belonged to my uncle. "But I wish to learn how to defend myself, how to fight for myself." I continued, stroking the lining of my sword, before meeting the Danes eyes. "I will not become another man's toy ever again." I said determined, showing my conviction with my eyes and this changed the look upon the faces of both Uhtred and Leofric. They might not know what I have been through as I had not shared it with them, but they could guess.

"Arseling?" Leofric spoke to his friend how sighed as he gave in. "You will need a stone." Uhtred started his explanation as I smiled happily. First he showed me how it was done. It was quiet some precise work and you had to look out for your fingers. After looking at him doing it for quite a while, I was finally allowed to try it myself. I moved rather clumsy at first, as my arms and hands need to get used to the unfamiliar movements. But bit by bit I started to get the hang of it. All morning I was sharpening the blade till breakfast arrived. At first I had wanted to skip breakfast for it was the thought of learning this new technique that filled me with a joy I had not felt in a while, but Hild did not allow it. I knew she meant well, so I joined Leofric and Hild at the table as King Alfred walked towards us, coming to get his potion from Iseult. "You are feeling a little better Lord?" Hild asked as Alfred give her a small smile. "I am." He replied. "How is your son?" I asked as Alfred took the potion from Iseult. "He is awake again." He said as he took the potion. "My wife is looking after him for the moment." He added before handing the bowl back to Iseult. "Iseult is a healer." Uhtred started. "She could help your son." He concluded as King Alfred jerked his head aside to face the man, shocked by his proposal. "Thank you." He said to Iseult for his medicine as he left without saying another word. I looked after his silhouette as he disappeared into the marshland, before returning to my breakfast. 

"If you help, then you better succeed." Hild spoke suddenly, this time I knew what she meant with those words, yet she could have chosen them more carefully. "If the child dies, you will be blamed for it." The nun added harshly, yet stating the truth. "But we cannot do nothing." Uhtred pointed out. "That is not what I am saying." Hild replied her voice softer this time. "Iseult is a pagan and a woman. She will be blamed, regardless of her meaning well." The nun explained to the Dane like. "What she says is true, Arseling, whether we like it or not..." Leofric said, swallowing a piece of bread. "But..." I added, turning around to face the Lady in question. "If there is anyone who can save this child, I am sure that it will be you Lady." I said with a soft smile which Iseult returned. "Can't we try to convince the Lord and Lady to let Iseult help anyway?" I asked, looking at my companions. "I doubt anything we'll say will make them reconsider." Hild said stating the truth as Uhtred sighed. "But if the boy is lost, so will Wessex." Leofric said, as I looked at the man. "What do you mean?" I questioned, confused by his statement. "If the boy dies Alfred will not have the strength to fight the Danes." Uhtred replied affirming what we all knew to be true.

It had remained silent after that as soon Uhtred and Leofric had left with some of the locals to go hunting for food. Hild had gone to help the locals with some chores, leaving Iseult, who was preparing another potion, and me as I kept sharpening my sword. The conversation from this morning kept repeating itself over and over in my head, making me barely able to concentrate at the task at hand, leading to cutting my finger. "Ouch!" I replied as I looked at my finger, a small drop of blood dripping from the top. "Are you alright?" Iseult asked as I looked at her. "I am fine, just a small cut nothing more." I reassured the Lady with a small grin, sipping the blood of my finger. "Sharpening a sword is a harder task then it looks." Iseult said with a smile as I nod. "Especially when you aren't able to keep your mind to it." I replied as I sighed. "What's on your mind?" The Lady asked as I turned to her. "I am afraid that without your help the boy will die..." I said looking at the King's residence. "So I was thinking of a way to convince them, yet nothing came to my mind." I added sighing deeply. "If the King refuses our help, we can't do anything." Iseult replied as I nod. "I know, but still..." I did not want to give up just yet, when the most silly idea hit me. "And what if someone else preformed the healing?" I said suddenly, my face lighting up. "What do you mean?" Iseult asked as I put my sword down, walked towards her. "Can you learn someone this healing technique to help the boy? Can someone else preform it for you, a not pagan?" I asked hopeful, but that hope diminished as soon as Iseult shook her head. "Only a person who hold the same powers as I can learn it." Iseult explained as I dropped my head. "I see..." I replied as I stood up, grabbing my sword, sheeting it back around my waist. It wasn't completely sharped yet, but I was in no condition to continue if I wanted to keep all of my fingers.

With a sigh I stood up. “Where are you going?” Iseult asked. “I am going to talk with the King.” I replied, putting my sword back underneath my hammock. “I will not let this child die.” I said firmly as I looked at Iseult. “2 children have already died because I did not have the strength to save them. I will not let this boy die while there is a way. I refuse to accept that.” I added as Iseult look startled, yet warmly at me. I offered her one last smile, before leaving our residence, marching towards the King, my mind made up.

As soon as I entered the King’s residence I found him sitting in a chair. “Lord?” I said, catching his attention. “Kiara, what brings you here? If you have come for the child, my wife just left with him.” King Alfred said as I walked towards him, shaking my head. “No Lord, that’s not why I have come.” I replied, standing near him. “I wish to talk to you.” I said confident, but at the same time felt my heart racing in my chest. King Alfred suggested for me to sit across of him, granting me his permission to speak. “It is about your son.” I stated my business directly. “I fear that God will not answer your prayers Lord.” I spoke softly whilst the King stared emotionless at me, not giving away how he felt. “Only God knows whether he will answer to our prayers or not, that’s not something for us to decided.” Alfred replied as I sighed. “I know Lord, but please hear me.” I begged him. “Your son is getting worse with each passing day, and even with all the prayers from all the priests spread across the land, he will not heal.” I stated the cold truth as I could see the dislike upon the King’s face. “What do you know of this? How do you know that God will not respond?” Alfred asked firmly. “I understand your doubt in my words Lord, as I might still be young, yet I have seen many things I wish I had not.” I stated, giving away some part of me in order to win his confidence. To show him I meant well. “One of them was the loss of my newborn brother.” I looked straight at the King, catching his eyes. “He was barely 6 days old when he got sick. I lived in a nunnery in Wintanceaster back in the day, and along with all the nuns we prayed, day and night, for my brother to get better. But he only got worse, and passed away at just 10 days old.” I explained to the Lord as I looked at the Swamps. “I doubt you have any interest in my life story, but I need you to understand, I have been where you are now.” I spoke firmly, returning my gaze to Alfred. “Than what do you suggest what I must do?” Alfred asked, his voice weaker this time. He cared for his son, his heir, and wanted nothing more than for the boy to recover. I could even concluded that deep down the King new that his prayers weren’t being answered, yet feared to admit it. “Hand him over to Iseult, she can save him I am sure of this.” I said softly with a slight smile. “I doubt that it was a coincidence that we met you here in these Swamplands. I believe that God has sent her in order to heal your son.” I added looking at Iseult from our the King’s place. “If I had met this Lady back in the day, I would have begged her to safe my brother, pagan or not.” I explained, leaning back into my chair. “If God is as good as we believe, then he must understand your choice, as it comes from love for your son.” I added, my voice no louder than a whisper.

King Alfred sighed before standing up, slightly walked around the room. “I fear you might be right.” The King said to my surprise, as I felt hope rising within me. “But I doubt my wife will agree to it.” Alfred added, as he turned around to face me again. “She hasn’t spoken with me since I send the priest away.” He explained with a small smile. “Maybe you can speak with her.” The King suggested to my surprise as I stood up startled. “Me, Lord?” I said completely taken aback. “You had the courage to come and talk to me.” Alfred reminded me as I looked aside, feeling a small heat burn upon my cheeks. “My apologizes Lord, for forcing my opinion upon you, I just couldn’t sit back and do nothing.” I said softly, meeting his gaze again, as he smiled at me. “And I am glad you did.” The King said as I stared at him, at a loss for what to say or what to do. “I will not force you, but keep in mind that it were your words that persuaded me.” Alfred added as I simply stared at him. Standing with his hands behind his back, his eyes tired, yet his poster was firm and strong. Even if I hadn’t know he was a King I could have guessed for just looking at the men. If we reclaim Wintanceaster, than I have no doubt he will become a good King, a great one even, one that will be remembered for ever.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time it had some more emotional parts about Kiara and her fears of losing a third child on her watch. And as time passes she starts to feel the loss of her own son!
> 
> I might update slowly for a couple of days as I have examens coming up.  
> But I will try my best!  
> Hope you enjoyed it!


	5. Sword Skill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there!  
> It's been a while since I last updated this story!  
> Due to the fact I have to go back to school for two more weeks, I am extremely busy...  
> Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!

“Kiara.” Iseult’s voice startled me, as I jerked my head sideways to look at her. “Yes?” I asked, still gathering all my thoughts. “Could you help me with the preparations for tonight’s meal?” She asked kindly as always. I collect my mind for a moment before replying. “Yes, yes of course!” I said, walking towards her. “Could I be of some use as well?” King Alfred asked, surprising both Iseult and me. “Of course Lord.” Iseult replied with her kind smile, as the three of us made our way towards our residence. Hild had already started cutting some vegetables. “Lord.” Hild greeted the man as Alfred nod in reply. “Kiara, can you help me with these.” Hild asked as I nod. “Certainly.” I replied as I walked towards the table, grabbed a small knife, cutting some carrots. “What can I do to help?” Alfred asked, looking at Iseult for answers. “How about you bake the bread? She stove is already heated.” Iseult suggest as the King nod, starting with his task. 

Not long after we had started preparing the meal for the evening, Uhtred and Leofric had returned from their hunt. The tide had started to rise, the water separating us from the hunting area. Leofric had joined the King at his table, Uhtred was talking with Iseult, as I kept cutting vegetables with Hild. “Lord you had one task!” Iseult spoke suddenly loud enough for all of us to hear, as she rushed towards the stove, grabbing a cloth before getting the overcooked bread out of it. “Oh no, I am sorry.” Alfred apologized. “I’ve never cooked before, and never again I fear.” He replied with a joke as I smiled. “Are they burned?” He asked, as Iseult placed them on their table. A few were black, yet some had survived. “They are done well Lord.” Leofric replied. “A challenge for your teeth and stomach.” He added with a grin, but the happy atmosphere was cut short when Uhtred spoke next.

“I have seen a fleet on the Severn.” The half Dane said catching all of us our attention. “They carry Skorpa’s colors.” He added. “How many ships?” Alfred asked, wanting to know how dreadful the situation was. “Twenty, or more.” Uhtred replied. “That’s over 1000 men, and Guthrum will have the same.” Alfred concluded as Uhtred sighed. “Guthrum has more.” He replied, making the situation only look worse. “God save us.” Hild said, as I looked at her. “I fear we need more than just God to save us.” I said turning my head towards Iseult. “We can save ourselves, we must believe in it.” Uhtred said and with that all remained silent.

From the King his residence we could hear the coughing from the sickly boy, as Aelswith had returned. “Will the Lady be joining us?” Hild asked, changing the conversation. “Uhm… no she will not.” He replied with a sour smile. “She is angry with me still, for sending the priest away.” He explained to all of us this time. “Sending out the priests was the right thing Lord.” Uhtred reassured the man. “Let us pray you are correct.” Alfred replied as he stood up. “If you will excuse me.” He said and left, walking towards his own place. “If the child dies, it will take the fight from Alfred’s bones.” Leofric reminded his friend. “And we will never save ourselves.” He added, knowing very well that neither of us would abandon Wintanceaster nor Wessex, as Leofric sat down at the table. After all the talking preparing the meal was finally finished. I sat across Leofric next to Hild, while Iseult and Uhtred still stood at the other table. 

“I have spoken with the King today.” I said after a moment of silence. “About what?” Hild asked surprised. “I have convinced him to let Iseult help him in order to save the boy.” I replied starling all of them. “How in Gods names did you manage that?” Leofric asked, looking at me. “I told him…” I paused for a moment. “The truth, my truth.” I replied. “And what is this truth of yours?” Uhtred asked, curious as well. “That sometimes prayers are not enough to save a child.” I replied, staring at me food. “What about the Lady Aelswith?” Hild asked, looking at me with hopeful eyes. “Even the Lord doubt’s that she will hand over her son to a pagan.” I said looking at Hild. I considered telling them Alfred’s proposal of letting me talk to his wife, but decided to keep that part to myself for now. I hadn’t spoken with the Lady yet, and doubted the fact she wanted to listen to a stranger. I had already tested my boundaries by talking to the King, but talking to the mother of the sick child, was on a completely different level. 

“Did you manage to sharpen your sword.” Leofric asked, taking me by surprise as I looked at the man. “Uhm yes, well not completely.” I stammered as I look at the sword underneath the hammock. “I found my mind too occupied this afternoon, but I will continue this evening.” I said, grabbing some food of the table. “Do you really need to know such an technique?” Hild asked, looking at me as I nod. “A war is coming. I will not be defenseless again. I wish to learn how to yield a sword so I can protect myself and maybe one day also those I love.” I replied, my voice filled with determination. “Are you sure about this?” Leofric asked as I turned my gaze to look at him. “I have never been more sure about anything in my life.” I replied, my gaze not wavering. “Then how about I teach you some basics.” Leofric offered, startling me, and not just me. “Leofric!” Uhtred said surprised as well, not agreeing with his friend. “What’s wrong with helping the girl. She wishes to learn how to fight.” Leofric replied to Uhtred who looked wide eyed at his companion before turning at me. I looked at Uhtred, displeasure visible upon his face, yet I had decided not to stop by just one set back. “Do not get me wrong Uhtred.” I said standing up. “I do not wish to join you in battle, yet. I am aware that I have no knowledge about sword craft or whatsoever and that it will take months of practice before I can manage on my own.” I added, walking towards the man. “I just wish to be able to defend myself if the fight comes to me.” I explained standing right in front of him. “I will not stand by and watch someone else protect me, or take me. I will learn how to fight, whether you agree to it or not.” I said not wavering, not now, not ever. I heard Hild chuckled as both Iseult and Leofric grinned. I stared at the half Dane as he stared back at me, probably checking for any kind of doubt as he sighed, looking aside. “It will not be long before fight will come.” Uhtred said as I nod. “I am aware of this yes.” I replied when Uhtred finally offered me a soft smile. “Then we will teach you.” Uhtred said as I smiled happily. He even said ‘we’! “Thank you! Both of you!” I said overfilled with joy looking at the both of them. “Make sure your sword is sharp by tomorrow morning.” Uhtred ordered as I nod. “I will without a doubt!” I replied with a bright smile as I went back to finish my meal.

After our meal I helped Iseult and Hild to clean the table. Leofric had gone off on a walk around the Severn, Iseult and Uhtred had left together as well to where I did not know, and Hild had gone in search of more fire wood for the night, only I had remained at our residence. I had grabbed my sword along with the stone Uhtred had given me this morning. Carefully I continued to sharpen the sword, making swift moves over the blade. Once again my mind was occupied, but this time it was about the sword, and the lessons I would get in the morning. Slowly and carefully I kept moving the stone along the sharp lining of my sword as from time to time I had to readjust my hair behind my ear. Every day I had to redo my braid, as it never stayed into place. Still, even with the annoying readjustment of my hair, the joy I felt did not disappear as the smile that had appeared upon my face during dinner, never left. As the night set in, Hild was the first to return, lighting the fire with more wood. “Do you need any help?” Hild asked, as I readjusted my hair again. I looked up to face the nun, surprised. Did she know how to sharp a sword too? Hild grinned at my startled reaction. “With your hair.” She pointed out for me. I smiled at her before nodding. “That would be nice yes.” I said as she walked towards me. I put the sword aside, as the nun sat down behind me, undoing what was left of my messy braid. “Do you know how to braid?” I asked staring ahead, trying to keep my head still. “As a matter of fact I do.” Hild replied, combing my hair with her fingers. “I used to braid the hair of a lot of the younger nuns back in Wintanceaster.” Hild explained, as she started dividing my hair.

It remained silent for a while as Hild braided my hair. “Why did you decided to enter the nunnery?” Hild spoke suddenly, as a small grin crept upon my lips. “I do not think you will like the answer.” I said with a chuckled. “I didn’t do it out of my love for God, I had another reason, my newborn brother.” I said as I closed my eyes. “Our mother died during childbirth, and I could not raise a newborn by myself, so I went in search of refuge at the nunnery.” I added, opening my eyes slowly. It remained silent after my explaination for longer than I expected. I guessed that Hild did wonder what happened to my father, but did not dare to ask. Yet I was not ready to explain more, so I was grateful she didn’t pry further into it. “What about you? Why did you decided to enter the nunnery?” I asked, hoping to break the awkward silence that surrounded us. “I never admired a life to get a husband or start a family.” Hild explained as I listened carefully. “I had always this great love for our Lord, and from a very young age I wanted to join a nunnery.” She added, speaking softly. “Did you never waver about your decision?” I asked curiously, admiring her determination. “Never.” Hild said firmly. “If God had other plans for me, I was sure he would prevent me from entering, yet he did not. That was how I knew I was going the right course in my life.” Hild continued. “I admire your determination. I hope I can stay as determined about my course in life as you are.” I said as she finished my hair. “There you go.” She said, putting the braid over my shoulder. “It’s beautiful!” I said, looking at my hairs new structure. It was a different braid then what I usually did. “It’s called a fishtail braid. It is a stronger and keeps the hair tighter.” Hild explained as I turned to face her. “Thank you.” I said grateful as she smiled at me. “You are welcome.” She replied as I smiled back at her. I stood up and walked back towards my sword to continue sharpening it. “If you truly believe that the path you are walking is righteous, the Lord will guide you through it.” Hild said making me face her again. “I do hope what you say is true.” I replied grabbing my sword. “Yet for the first time in a while I do believe that I know my course in life, so I’ll pray for the Lord to shine upon my path.” I added as I stared from my sword to Hild both smiling as the night came to an end.

I had woken up early the next morning, helping Hild and Iseult to prepare our breakfast. In the distance the sobbing cries of the King’s newborn could be heard. “The child does not have much longer.” Iseult spoke the hard truth. “How much longer does he have?” Leofric asked, looking at the pagan Lady. “7 nights at most.” She replied as I stared down at my food. “You should eat more.” Uhtred’s voice startled me, making me face him. “You will need your strength today.” The Dane like reminded me, as the smile returned to my face as I nod and continued eating eagerly. I could see the others grinning at my childish reaction from the corner of my eye, but I did not care yet. As we all continued our breakfast, we were greeted by the King, holding his sickly son. The boy was still crying as he approached us. “Lord.” Hild greeted the King, as he grinned at her. “Hild.” He replied before turning his gaze towards the rest of us. “Do you wish to sit?” Hild asked, standing up. “Thank you.” Alfred replied, rocking his son in the hope of stopping his cries. “What brings you here Lord?” Leofric asked, as the King never joined us during breakfast. “My wife has finally gotten herself some sleep. I did not wish to wake her.” The King explained, as I looked at him. He looked tired himself, more and more by the day. “Should I take him Lord, so you can eat?” I asked, seeming to surprise most of my companions except for Iseult who had probably seen it in one of her visions. “If you would, yes.” Alfred replied, gently handing me the little one.

I held the boy close against my chest, rocking him gently. “Hey there little one.” I spoke softly without even realizing it, as I touched his face with my finger, stroking his cheek. “Ssh, do not cry, it is going to be alright.” I continued as I smiled while looking at him. “I did not know you were good with children.” Uhtred said as I jerked my head to meet his gaze. “Oh, I am not, really.” I replied ashamed of my actions with a King’s child. “No really, you are doing great.” Hild bumped in as well, making me blush. “I have had some practice before, that’s all.” I said yet felt pleased by their praises. I turned my attention back to the coughed and crying boy. I touched his forehead, just between his eyes and slowly made my way down to touch his nose top, repeating the movement, till the boy slowly started to close his eyes. As I kept rocking him and repeating to touch his voice, I hummed a soft melody and after a while the boy had fallen asleep in my arms. In the meantime the King had started his breakfast while the others had finished theirs. Once I was sure I would not wake up the boy I moved my head to face the rest again. I could see the awe look upon their faces by my behavior. “Are you still sure you want to learn how to handle a sword? You would make a fine midwife.” Leofric suggested as I smiled at him. “Yes I am still sure.” I replied with a chuckled. “How to handle a sword?” King Alfred repeated taken aback. “Yes Lord.” I confirmed he had heard well. “You will be teaching her to hold a sword and to fight?” Alfred replied this time turning his head to look at Uhtred. “She wants to learn, so will teach her.” Uhtred replied nonchalant. “Amongst the Danes there are a lot of woman who can fight, like Brida. It’s good for a woman to be able to defend herself.” Uhtred added, as I stared at him confused. Then why had he been so against the idea at first? Had he just been testing my will to learn? Alfred turned from Uhtred to look at me, staring at me for a moment before grinning softly. “You might be right yes.” He agreed in the end, surprising me as Uhtred stood up. “Kiara, we should get going and start.” He said as I nod. “Yes.” I replied looking one last time at the little one in my arms, smiling. “Shall I take him from you?” Hild asked, as I looked at Alfred for his permission. Once the King nod, I stood up slowly, handing the baby to Hild. “Stay strong little one.” I said, as I looked at him, before turning around, grabbing my sword belt, putting it around my waist. I saw Uhtred gripping his equipment as well, yet Leofric still sat at the table. “Are you not coming with us Leofric?” I asked, curiously as he had been the one to propose the idea. “Not today. The Arseling wants to do the honors today. I’ll go hunting with the locals, but I’ll join you in the evening.” Leofric replied as I looked at him, slightly disappointed. “Are you doubting my skills to teach?” Uhtred asked, noticing my disappointment. “I do not, not at all. But I do doubt you’ll be a very gently teacher.” I replied with a small grin as Uhtred laughed. “Come one, we have a lot to teach you.” The Dane like said as he passed me. I nod, as I followed after him giving one last smile towards the others, as Uhtred and I left.

I followed Uhtred closely as he lead me amongst the Swamplands towards a more open place. “This place should do.” Uhtred concluded once we had left the small village we had been residing in. I grabbed my sword, unsheathing it. “What are you doing?” Uhtred asked confused by my actions as he turned to look at me. “Grabbing my sword?” I replied not getting his confusion. “Put that aside.” He ordered as he grabbed two wooden sticks from his back. “You start and learn from being hit.” The Dane like said as I stared at him. “But… then why did I need to sharpen my sword last night?” I asked totally disappointed. Uhtred laughed as he handed me the stick. “I need to be know you were sure about this.” He replied simply as I grinned at him. “For real?” I asked as the Dane shrugged his shoulders. “Okay, spread your feet, left one up front and grab the stick with two hands, right hand above the left.” Uhtred started as I did as I was told. “Put the right foot back more.” Uhtred as and I tried. “Like this.” He added, standing next to me into the same position. I studied his legs and mimicked them. “That’s better.” He praised as I grinned. “Now move your right leg forward and step a bit towards the right, and swing the stick from your right shoulder towards left under.” Uhtred explained as I tried it. The movement felt weird and unfamiliar. “Step more towards the right, it will take you out of reach for counter attacks.” Uhtred explained as I nod, trying it again. Uhtred showed me how he moved, as I tried to mimic again. “Now, keep making that movement.” Uhtred said, stepping out of his fighting pose, watching me. I kept swing my sword over and over. Each time I messed up at least something, like not stepping forwards enough, not enough or too much to the right, losing balance, swinging to slow and weak and so on. As I kept swinging the stick I soon realized the aching in my arms. I never moved my arms this much, as the weight of the stick started getting heavier with each swing. “That’s about right.” Uhtred said finally after swinging for nearly fifty times. “Is it aching in the arms normal?” I asked, already panting. “At first yes.” Uhtred replied as I sighed. This was going to be a lot harder than I expected.

I kept practicing the same movement during the entire morning, my arms getting really sore by now. I was panting and sweeting and in pain, but I wouldn’t stop till I got it perfect. The idea of learning gave me strength and that was all I needed to continue. “Kiara!” Uhtred’s voice took me by surprise as I lost composer and looked at him, only to have him attacking me with the stick hitting my shoulder. “Ouch.” I said as I reflex, grabbing my shoulder. “Do not let your guard slip, keep focus.” He said as I looked at him. “I did, till you called out to me.” I replied slightly confused. “During battle people will scream all the time, don’t let sounds disturb you.” Uhtred warned as I looked at him. “I am sorry.” I said, as I sat down for a second, giving my arms some rest. “No need to be sorry. You will get the hang of it.” Uhtred replied, sitting next to me, handing me a jug with water, which I excepted immediately. “It is a lot more tiring than I imagined.” I replied, returning him his jug. “It takes time to build the strength for it.” Uhtred replied as he stood back up. “Now, come and try attacking me.” He said, grabbing his own stick, and throwing mine towards me. “Yes!” I replied as I caught the sword, standing up. I took my fighting position and focused upon Uhtred his body movement. He was standing in the same pose as me, his breath steady, eyes on me. I took a deep breath before leashing out at him, yet he blocked the attack. “Again, faster and harder!” He ordered as I nod. Moving again, this time with a greater force, hitting his shoulder. I smiled brightly as I hit him. “See.” He said as I looked proud at him. “Again.” He order as I nod, getting more confident. I took my stand, and lashed out, but he ducked to my left and hit my left side, hard. “Ouch!” I replied as Uhtred stood back up. “Keep the sword lower, so he can’t get out of reach without moving out of your range.” Uhtred demanded as I nod. “Again!”


	6. A Fateful Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there!  
> I want to apologize for not updating in a while! I doubt anyone cares to listen, but I would like to explain why nonetheless.  
> I have been severely depressed the past couple of months, making me unable to write, or do anything in general.  
> I have been going through intense therapy these past few weeks, and I finally found my courage and motivation to write again.  
> My updates will still be slow, as I am still readjusting to my old life, but I hope to write more the coming weeks.  
> For those who read it all, thank you!
> 
> Back on with the story! Enjoy!

“Higher! Faster!” Uhtred ordered as I panted heavily, leaning upon the stick, before getting into position again, and striking forward only to fall onto my knees, leaning upon my hands. After learning sword skill, as the Danes called it apparently according to Uhtred, for 7 days in a row, I felt tired unlike ever before. “Don’t be too harsh on her Arseling.” Leofric called from my right side. On my first day of practice Leofric had joined only in the evening, but the other days both of them had been around, each having a different perspective on how to fight best. “Get some rest.” Uhtred said but I shook my head. “Not yet.” I replied standing back up. “You can barely stand.” Uhtred added as I looked determined at him. “On the battlefield you have no time to rest either.” I replied, still panting heavily. Uhtred looked at Leofric for a moment who shrugged his shoulders. Uhtred sighed, but got back into a fighting position. Without a word, I moved forwards using the move I had learned on the first day, as Uhtred stepped backwards. I immediately recovered, turning my sword to the left, hitting from the opposite side, only for Uhtred to dodge again, stepping aside, and hitting my hands, making me release the stick in my hands. I hold back the urge to scream due to the burning pain on my hands. I squeezed my eyes and looked at the red and blistered palms. “Let me see those hands.” Uhtred ordered, marching towards me as I immediately hide them behind my back. He looked at me, holding out his hand to look at them. I sighed as I showed him my palms. His face showed his surprise. “Let Iseult look at them.” Uhtred ordered as he walked away. “What about practice?” I asked, looking at his back. “Rest. Heal. We will continue later.” Uhtred said leaving me. I sighed and grabbed my stick from the ground. “The Arseling is right, you cannot fight with those hands.” Leofric said, approaching me. “I know…” I replied softly. “You are still young. There is enough time to learn.” Leofric reminded me as I sighed. “You are right.” I replied and smiled at him, which he returned. “Come on.” Leofric said as we walked back towards our residence. 

“You are back early today.” Hild said surprised to see the three of us back before lunch. Normally we would arrive just before dinner. “Where is Iseult?” Uhtred asked putting the sticks back with our other equipment. “She went to the forest to gather some new herbs. She will be back soon.” Hild replied as I sat down at the table, inspecting my hands. They looked bad, I had to admit and they hurt. “Are you alright?” Hild asked, as she sat down next to me, looking at my sore hands. “Just some blisters.” I replied with a halfhearted smile. Now the adrenaline from the fighting had subsided I felt the burning pain even more. Hild offered me a compassionate look but did not say any more about it. “Here, some water.” Leofric offered me a cup as he sat down opposite of me. “Thank you.” I replied, picking the cup up carefully, trying not to hurt my hands any further, drinking it with ease. “You are improving.” Leofric commented to my surprised as a smile spread across my face. “Yet, I still feel like a mess compared to you and Uhtred.” I replied with a scoff. “I would be ashamed of myself if you weren’t.” Leofric said and I laughed. “You fight well indeed.” Uhtred said, sitting down next to Leofric. “You are quick on your feet, and move swiftly.” He added as I smiled brightly. “Was your father a good sword man?” Uhtred asked calmly as the smile upon my face disappeared immediately. I stared at the cup of water not replying. “Kiara?” Leofric said taken aback by my reaction as I shook my head. “I… uhm…” I stammered unsure what to say. Lie and see that Osmund was my father, or be honest that I did not know him? “You don’t have to say if you don’t want to.” Uhtred spoke suddenly, as I looked up to face him. Uhtred looked into the Swamplands while I stared at him. “Then I will not.” I replied softly, returning my gaze towards my cup.

It remained silent for a moment till Iseult returned. “You back already?” She said just as surprised as Hild. “Can you make a potion for pain?” Uhtred asked as he walked towards his lover. She looked confused at him for a second before Uhtred continued. “It’s for Kiara.” He added as I put my hands in the air for her to see the blisters. Iseult immediately walked towards me taking a better look at my sore hands. “How did you get them this bad?” She asked as I laughed awkwardly. “Sword skill training…” I replied feeling a bit stupid about letting it get this terrible without saying anything. “I have some herbs for it, it will make them heal quicker. You should bandage them as well.” Iseult said looking at me as I nod. “That would be nice and I will, thank you.” I replied as the healer grabbed her herbs and started making the potion. “But I strongly advise about training with those hands.” Iseult said, more looking at the two man instead of me. “I will be fine.” I reassured the Lady with a smile as she turned her stern gaze towards me. “You will not.” She replied firmly, the smile disappearing from my face immediately. “If you keep pushing yourself this hard, you might not be able to hold a real sword.” She said looking me in the eye. Her dark brown ones staring into mine. Had she seen something in my future? I nod, knowing she meant for the best. “Then I will not.” I replied softly, as Iseult her harsh look turned soft again. 

Once Iseult had finished her potion she had handed it to Hild to put it upon my hands. In the meantime she had started upon the potion for the King. “Ouch.” I said, squeezing my eyes shut as Hild touched my hand palms. The potion made the burning feeling worse than it already was. “Try not to move.” Hild said as I nod, the burning slightly subsiding. Carefully Hild continued to put the potion onto my hands as I tried to sit as still as possible. From the King’s residence the screams for his son could be heard once again. I slowly looked aside, keeping my hands still, as I looked at the Lady rocking her baby. “Today is the day, isn’t it?” I said, knowing that if Iseult didn’t help the boy tonight, he would be beyond her capability. Uhtred sighed as I looked at the sickly boy as well. “I will try and talk to him.” Iseult said as she stood up. “You don’t have to do this.” Uhtred stopped her for a moment. “No I do.” She spoke firmly, holding tightly onto the King his potion. She stared at her lover as he stared back at her before sighing and looking away. Without another word Iseult walked towards the King and his wife. My eyes lingered towards Uhtred as he sat down at the table across from me. “There, all done.” Hild said, my hands bandaged and all, as I turned back to face her. “Thank you.” I said with a smile which she returned as she stood up, returning to her job of preparing a meal for lunch. 

“What will we do if they will not listen to her?” Leofric asked, approached Uhtred and me. “I’ll try to talk to the King myself.” Uhtred replied as I looked at the swamplands. “It is not the King we have to convince.” I reminded him and sighed. “I doubt anything will convince her.” Leofric said stating a truth we all knew, yet did not want to accept. Suddenly we heard the Lady Aelswith scream. Uhtred immediately looked towards his lover, making his way over towards her. “I doubt it worked…” I said, not liking my own words. “I can try and talk to her.” Hild spoke suddenly as she looked over her shoulder at us. “Maybe she will listen to woman who isn’t a pagan.” Hild added as I looked at my hands, laying upon the table. “King Alfred had asked me as well, to talk to his wife.” I said softly not looking at either of them. “Why did you not? You talked to the King.” Leofric asked, slightly confused by my decision. “Talking to a mother of a dying child is not something you do lightly without…” I paused looking at the men. “It involves a lot of emotions. Which I am not ready to expose just yet.” I added, slowly turning my look towards Hild. She smiled softly at me before speaking again. “Then I will talk to her.” Hild concluded as I looked grateful at her. Suddenly Iseult walked away from the King, directly making her way towards the Severn, not even looking at us. “Iseult?” Hild asked, but was bluntly ignored. I turned my gaze towards Uhtred who had stayed behind, before making his way back towards us. “Where did Iseult go?” Hild asked as Uhtred stood next to her. “She went to prepare for the night.” Uhtred replied. “Did the Lady Aelswith agree?” I asked surprised yet hopeful as Uhtred sighed. “She did not…” Uhtred replied as I sunk back into my seat. “What did you tell the King?” Leofric asked curious why he had stayed behind. “The truth.” He replied. “That it can only be tonight.” 

Slowly the day went by. Uhtred had went to help Iseult in order to prepare for the ritual to save the child. Leofric had gone to get some more fire wood, Hild boiling tonight’s dinner, while I just sat at the table. Hild had refused my help, telling me over and over again I needed to let my hands rest for the remain part of the day at least. The evening came sooner than expected and dinner was tasteless that night. Hild was a good cook, this I will not deny, but with all that was at stake tonight I found I had no appetite. Immediately after dinner, Iseult and Uhtred had returned to the Severn to continue their work, leaving just Hild, Leofric and me. I looked at the King holding his child, while the Lady was nowhere to be seen. “I am going to talk with the Lady before it’s too late.” Hild said looking at me with that soft smile of her, before leaving us and making her way towards the King’s residence. I sighed as Hild disappeared out of sight. “Are you sure about this?” Leofric his sudden voice startled me. I jerked my head to look at him, confused. “About what? My sword skill training? My hand’s will heal, do not worry.” I replied with a smile. “Not about your training, about not talking to the Lady.” Leofric said, looking at the King’s place for a second before turning his gaze back to face me. I sighed as I looked away from him. “To be honest, no I am not.” I replied genuinely. “Back when I went to speak with the King I felt all determined as if God send me, but now… I only feel insecure and small.” I added, gathering my courage to face Leofric again, my honest feelings out on the table. 

“Alfred must have some confidence in you if he asked you to do it.” Leofric replied with a scoff as I chuckled. “I do doubt how he has gotten that idea.” I laughed. Leofric looked dumb folded at me. “Did I just hear you correctly?” He asked, yet I was sure he had heard me. I looked confused at him, not knowing how to reply. “I have not known you for very long, but I wonder if you know yourself at all.” Leofric said taking me aback. “What do you mean?” I asked utterly confused at this point. “Have you not noticed that you have the ability to persuade someone just by talking or being with someone?” Leofric asked and this time I was the one staring dumb folded at him. “Really? I do?” I said amazed. “You’re determination made Uhtred and me help you with sword practice. The way you handle the King’s child and get him silent. You even convinced the King to let Iseult help his son. Did you really not know?” Leofric asked as I stared at him. “I… I did not…” I spoke softly. “I… In my life I never had to convince anyone to do anything for me, or with me. I used to have this simple life.” The words rolled off my tongue before my head registered them. “And the past year… I was told anything but that I was worthwhile…” I added staring into the fire as the sun had set behind the horizon. “Then I will tell you now, you have the capability to convince people, which is a powerful gift.” Leofric said and grinned. “It seems like you are God’s favorite after all.” He joked as I chuckled. “And you might be right after all.” I replied as I looked one last time at the Kings residence before standing up. “Good luck.” Leofric said, knowing what I was going to do. I looked at him with a smile. “Thank you. I will never forget this.” I said grateful as the man smiled at me and with that I made my way towards the Lady Aelswith her room.

What started with big, firm steps, subsided in slow and doubting movements. I took one deep breath, calming my racing heart beat stopping in front of the room.  
"My Lady?" I spoke softly as I entered the room of Lady Aelswith, Hild still at her side. Both woman turned around to look at me. I could see that the Lady Aelswith had been crying for some time now. "I am sorry for the intrusion, but I wish to speak to you my Lady." I said as I took a step forward. Aelswith looked at Hild who gave her a soft smile before she turned her attention back to me. "You may speak." Lady Aelswith granted me permission. "You do not know me, as I do not know you my Lady..." I started as I approached the woman. "But trust me when I say this, losing a child is one of the hardest things in life." I spoke softly, putting my honest feelings into every word. "I know I might seem young to you, but I have been where you are now..." I stopped for a moment, trying to hold my tears. "Twice." I added. "I lost my baby brother due to a sickness and only just a year later I lost my own son during labor." I explained as I sat down upon the bed. "Even now at night I can sometimes see their faces, and the fact I couldn't save them haunts me till this day." I continued as both woman looked at me with soft eyes. "So believe me when I ask, no beg you. Give your son to Uhtred and Iseult. They may be pagan's indeed, but they can save your son. I wish I did not have to say this but it is his only change. Don't take it away from him because they are pagan's, because I believe the Lord has send them to meet you here to save your son." I spoke softly as I looked at Aelswith, tears filling her eyes, slowly rolling over her cheek. I could feel my own tears dwell in my eyes but I refused to let them out, not now, not here. "I apologize if I spoke too freely." I said as I stood up as only now it started to sink into me what I had just done. I am just a child, only 15 years old telling the Lady of Wessex what to do. "Do not apologize." Lady Aelswith said as I caught her eyes. "Thank you." She spoke softly, as I smiled at her. "I just hope I could be of some help." I replied as I looked at Hild for a spilt second. "I should take my leave now." I said as Aelswith nod and with that I turned around leaving her room.

I took a deep breath to calm my racing heart, but I knew what I had just done was something I needed to do. If God still held me in his favor, then I knew he was guiding me to do this, if he didn't... then maybe fate had send me here. As I walked back towards my own place I spotted the King with Uhtred, handing his dying son over towards the Pagan as Uhtred slowly walked away. "Do not worry my Lord. I am sure Iseult will save your son." I said as I approached the King. He looked tired as he stared after Uhtred. "I hope what you say is true." King Alfred replied as he finally looked at me. "You should rest a bit Lord." I suggested. "There is no more you can do, and your son will need you in the morning." I added as I offered him a smile, which he returned with one of his own. "You speak more mature than your age suggest." The King stated as I looked at the ground. "I..." I mumbled unsure how to reply, did I cross a boundary? "It suits you well." Alfred added as I looked up at him, startled by his statement. "Thank you my Lord!" I replied immediately as the King smiled softly. "Now I will take your word and retire for the night." The King said as I nod. "I hope you find some sleep." I spoke as the King nod and with that our ways parted.

I walked back towards my own place. Iseult and Uhtred weren't around as they went to save the King's son, Hild was still with the Lady Aelswith, even Leofric wasn't around when I returned. I sat down in one of the hammocks and sighed. Tonight would decide our fate. If the boy were to die, the King will not have the strength to reclaim Wintanceaster, but if the boys survives, I wonder if we are even able to reclaim our home, but we’ll have a fair chance. "I think a thank you would be in place." The voice of the nun Hild surprised me as I opened my eyes in shock, whilst she approached me. "I didn't mean to frighten you." Hild apologized at my startled behavior as I shook my head. "I was just lost in thought." I replied as I smiled at her. "How is Lady Aelswith?" I asked as Hild sat down upon a bench near me. "She will be fine if her son survives." Hild replied, putting some more fire wood into the fire. It remained silent for a moment till Hild broke it. "The words you spoke to the Lady, I am assuming they were all true." Hild said as she looked at me. I barely dared to look her in the eye so I settled for staring into the distance as I nod. "Yes, I am afraid so." I replied, trying to laugh it off, hoping she wouldn't ask too many question as I wasn't ready to hold back the tears any longer. "I doubt you want to talk about it..." Hild started as I turned my gaze towards her slowly. "But if you ever want to talk to someone, I'll always be ready to listen if you need me." The nun her voice was soft as was her smile. It surprised me. The day I had met her I had assumed she wouldn't be someone I would get along with quite well, yet here we were. I stared at her, trying to gather all my courage. Maybe talking about it, about at least part of it would get it off my mind. I knew very well that hiding it within me like none of it ever happened was no option. But was I ready?

I took a deep breath before speaking up. "Would you care to listen to a part of it?" I asked as the nun smiled at me. I stood up from my hammock and sat down next to her on the bench. "I used to live in a small village near Wintanceaster." I started as I stared into the fire. "My dad worked for the Ealdormen, he was his advisor. Or well my dad..." I scoffed. "The man who raised me." I corrected myself. "My mother apparently used to be a slave till my 'dad' married her as they fell in love. I got raised as his own daughter and both of us were treated kindly. He had a son who was about 5 years older than me and we grew up as normal siblings." I spoke normally, reliving the memories like they were from another lifetime. "But one day, during the battle on Aesces Hill, my father and brother were send to battle and never returned." I said and closed my eyes. "During the very same time my mother died during childbirth, as I have told you before, and only my baby brother survived. I was left in care of him, as I had no other family left, but he died only a couple of days later due to a sickness." Small tears dwelled in my eyes. "In just a mere 10 days I had lost all those dear to me." I said, sobbing softly. "I couldn't even save my baby brother, I couldn't..." I hid my face between my hands, tears streaming down my face quietly. I felt Hild put an arm around me as I leaned my head against her chest. "Sssh, it's okay now." Hild spoke calmly. "You did all you could." The nun added as she rubbed my back slowly in order to calm my down. Silently the tears felt. I hadn't been held like that in a long, long time, yet it felt nice and comfortable.

As my tears had dried up, I still leaned against Hild her chest, as she held me in her embrace. Both of us had been silent ever since, staring into the fire. "What about your real father?" Hild asked, her voice soft and caring as I closed my eyes. "I do not know him." I answered honestly. "My mother never spoke of him, and whenever I asked about him she refused to answer telling me it was better if I did not know." I added as I sat up on my own, leaving Hild her warm embrace. “Do you want to know who he was?” Hild asked as I thought about it for a while. I had never really considered the idea of looking for my real father as I had no clue were to start. “I don’t think my father knows about my existence.” I said honestly. “My mother was still pregnant when she met my father. Besides I don’t even know where my mother came from before she came to Wintanceaster. She could have been from Frankia or Irland for all I know.” I added and sighed. “I will not go in search of him, but maybe one day I get to meet him if God let me.” I concluded leaning into Hild her embrace. “Then I will pray to the Lord for a chance of meeting him.” Hild said as I smiled at her before both of us stared at the night sky of this fateful night.


	7. The start of a new Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter!  
> I am sorry it took a while to update!  
> Enjoy!

I awoke late in the morning the following day. I opened my eyes slowly, letting them get used to the light of the sun. I turned my head left and right, confused once I realized that I was lying in a hammock. I sat up and tried to remember what had happened last night, but all that came to mind was the conversation with Hild. I turned to look around our residence, finding it empty. I slowly got out of the hammock, turning my gaze towards the King’s residence, not seeing the King, yet his place was filled with the priests that had been sent away weeks ago and men I did not know. When my mind finally caught up with all the new information it went straight towards the King’s son. Had he survived? Had Iseult really saved him? I put on my boots, making my way towards the Severn, only to be stopped by Leofric. “Finally decided to join us for the day?” The man said with a smile as I looked at him. “The child? Did he survive?” I asked, desperate for answers. I felt my heart pounding in my chest and I was sure it was loud enough for Leofric to hear. “He did.” Leofric’s voice finally came as I released a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. “Oh, that is good news.” I said, relief filling within me. I looked towards the Severn for a second, doubting whether to still go there or remain at our place. In the end I decided to return to our residence as Uhtred and Iseult would return eventually. “What about Hild? Where did she go? And what’s with all these priests and people?” I fired my questions all at once. “The priest have returned with men in order to take back Wintanceaster. More men are waiting beyond the Severn.” Leofric started answering as we walked back towards our residence. “Hild has gone towards the priest for now.” Leofric added as I nod. “Where did you go last night?” I asked curiously as he hadn’t been there after I had returned from my conversation with the Lady Aelswith. “Just a walk to clear the head.” Leofric replied. I slightly doubted his answer, but left it at that.

Once we had made our way back I carefully grabbed some fruits and bread, as my hands still hurt, starting to prepare breakfast for when the remaining part of our company would return. “How are your hands?” Leofric asked as he sat down at the table. “Still sore, but better.” I replied, looking at my bandaged hands. “Yet, I doubt I will hold a sword anytime soon.” I added smiling softly at the man. “Once we have reclaimed Wintanceaster we will have all the time to properly train you.” Leofric said as I put the fruits and bread upon the table. “I cannot wait.” I said happily as Hild returned. “Good morning.” She greeted me with a smile which I returned. “Good morning indeed.” I replied as Leofric offered the woman a simple nod. “How are the priests?” Leofric asked as Hild helped me prepare breakfast. “Tired from their travel, but overall they are fine.” She replied as she turned her gaze towards me. “I did not wake you when I left this morning, did I?” Hild asked, fearing she had woken me, but I simply shook my head. “Not at all and to be honest I don’t even remember how I got to the hammock last night either.” I said, still puzzled about the loss of memory. Hild chuckled whilst I stared confused at her. “You had fallen asleep upon my shoulder.” Hild said, explaining the lost part of my memory. “Leofric helped me to put you into the hammock.” She added much to my embarrassment. I could feel the heat rising upon my cheeks as I stared at the ground. “No child, was it?” Leofric said with a scoff as I fidgeted with my dress. “I am sorry about that.” I apologized, feeling deeply ashamed yet both adults simply laughed. “It’s alright, now let us start breakfast.” Hild sat, sitting across from Leofric.

I looked up, facing them, hoping the blush had left my face. “Shouldn’t we wait for Uhtred and Iseult to return?” I asked approaching them, taking a seat next to Hild. “They should be back any time now.” Leofric said, grapping an apple from the pile of fruits. I wanted to disagree on eating without them, till my belly betrayed me. A small rumbled could be heard, as I warped my arms around it, trying to mute the sound, yet failed. This morning was full of embarrassing moments. “Here.” Hild said, handing me a piece of bread which I accepted gratefully. Halfway through breakfast, priests, men, the King with his now healthy son, Uhtred and Iseult returned. The King, followed by his men and priests went towards his own residence, as Iseult and Uhtred walked towards ours. Both of them were still covered in mud, but the healing had been a success and still… Uhtred his hand lay across Iseult her shoulder as she sobbed. I immediately stood up and turned to look at the Lady. Both Hild and Leofric had turned their attention towards the Lady as well. “Iseult?” I asked, approaching as she reached our residence. She looked up to face me, small tears rolling over her cheek. “Why the tears? You saved the child?” I said confused. “The ritual was not without a sacrifice.” Uhtred replied, turning my attention to the Dane. “What do you mean?” Hild asked, walking up behind us. “For this child to live, another had to die.” Iseult explained as I looked stupefied at her. All this time I had encourage her to help the King’s child, yet at the same time to take another’s… “You’ve made the right choice.” Hild her soft voice penetrated me, turning my thoughts back to reality. The nun put her hand upon Iseult’s shoulder, reassuring the Lady she had done well. For the first time in a while I did not know what to say so I just stood there and watched the other woman. “Come, let us eat. You’ve earned it.” Hild added leading Iseult towards the table as Uhtred and I followed, continuing our breakfast.

During the day Iseult went to her hammock to gain some well-deserved rest, with Hild looking after her. Uhtred had left off, without anyone telling where he had gone to. I sat with Leofric, staring into the Swamplands my mind unoccupied. “How is she?” Leofric asked, turning to Hild. “Tired, nothing more.” Hild replied as I turned to look at Iseult, finding her asleep. “We will need some more wood for the night.” Hild said standing up, ready to leave. “Let me do it!” I said standing up immediately. “Iseult might want some company when she wakes up, and… I am not quite sure how to comfort her.” I said honestly looking anywhere but Iseult. “And how are you planning on cutting the wood?” Leofric his voice took me aback. I stared confused at him as he sighed. “You can’t use an axe with your hands, can you?” Leofric reminded me as I opened my mouth to protest as the man stood up, yet after reconsidering his words, I had to agree that he did have a fair point. I could hardly help with the chores, let alone hold an axe. “I can carry the wood?” I tried as the man grinned. “I’ll go get some wood, you should let your hands rest. Go check upon the child.” Leofric suggest as he smiled before walking off. I sighed and sat down. “Leofric has a point.” Hild said after a short silence. “About my hands?” I asked, looking at the nun. “About visiting the child. You played a big part in his saving.” Hild pointed out as I looked towards the Kings residence. It was filled with priests and unfamiliar men. During my time in the Swamplands my fear of new people had started to subside, but had not completely disappeared just yet. “I don’t know…” I replied, my head leaning upon my hand as I watched the priest. I could not deny the fact I was curious, but still…

I took a deep breath before standing up. “Maybe you are right.” I said, turning to Hild with a soft smile. Hild returned my smile with one of her own as I slowly made my way amongst the bridges towards the King. “You cannot just take Wintanceaster back! The Danes have thousands of men!” The voice of one of the King’s guards reached my ears. “It can be done. One defining battle.” I heard Alfred reply as I reached them. “But Lord-” A bald priest tried to protest but the King stopped him as soon as he noticed me. “Kiara.” He said with a smile as I entered his place. I could feel the eyes of both the priest and guard upon me. “I am assuming you’ve come for Edward.” Alfred stated as I nod. “I have heard Iseult healed him and I was wondering if I would be allowed to see him?” I asked politely as the King nod with a grin. “Of course, my wife is in her room.” Alfred replied as I nod. “Thank you Lord.” I spoke politely as I passed the men. I felt my heart race inside my chest. I could feel the burning stare of the guard and the priest as I passed them, yet I did not have the courage to look at them...

As I reached Lady Aelswith’s room I took a deep breath before knocking upon the door. “My Lady?” I spoke carefully as I opened the door slowly. Aelswith turned around to look at me. She was holding her newborn in her arms, her face filled with joy. “Kiara.” She said, sounding a bit surprised as I entered her room completely. “He is better, he is healed! The Lord has finally answered our prayers!” Aelswith said as I slowly walked towards her. The boy was sleeping softly, within his mother’s arms. “I am glad to hear such news.” I said with a soft smile. “Thank you.” Aelswith said, sounding honest grateful. “There is no need to thank me, Lady, as it was Iseult who saved your son, and the Lord for sending her here to meet you.” I replied with a smile as Aelswith smiled back at me. I doubted she would go up and thank Iseult in person, but I knew she was truly grateful for the woman’s help. I looked at the sleeping little boy. He looked so peaceful, healthy and strong. He would be fine from now on and I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of it. “Would you like to hold him?” Lady Aelswith said, taking me by surprise. “Oh, no, no I do not dare to wake him.” I said, my eyes still lingering on the boy. “I insist.” Aelswith added as I looked at her. “Your child would have been around Edward’s age would he not?” Aelswith added as I simple nod. “Yes, he would.” I replied as a burning desire to hold the Queen’s child filled within me. “It will not make up for your loss, but please, if you have any desire to hold him…” The Lady pressed on as I looked once more at the sleeping boy. I considered my rational thinking against my desire, till I give in to the feeling within me. “If you insist…” I said softly, stepping close enough to the Lady for her to hand me her son. I carefully took the boy in my arms, hoping not to wake him. 

“Hey there little one.” I spoke softly as I caressed the boys cheek. “You look so strong and healthy now.” I kept speaking in a soft tune, slightly rocking the boy. For a moment it felt like time had stopped, like there was no one else in the room, just me and this little boy. “You will become a strong one, won’t you.” I continued talking to him. “And one day, when you become the most powerful man in these lands, one day…” As I kept talking, my voice started to crack, tears forming in my eyes. Memories flashing before my eyes of the night I had given birth. The small body, the grey face, the unmoving limps… “I didn’t even give him a name…” I whispered, silent tears falling from my cheeks. “Kiara?” Lady Aelswith said, as I looked up to face her. “I…” Unable to utter another word I turned back to look at the sleeping child in my arms, smiling softly. “Malin… little warrior.” The name slipped from my tongue before I even realized. “One day, you will become a great warrior.” I spoke softly as I closed my eyes. “But untill then, we’ll be with you every step of the way.” I whispered softly, so no one could here as I looked back up to face Aelswith. “Are you alright?” She asked as I nod, handing her son back. “I will be from now on, thank you for letting me hold him.” I spoke most grateful, wiping the tears away from my eyes. It remained silent for a while as I softly caressed the boy’s face. “I should take my leave now.” I said taking a few steps back. “But if I can ever be of any help my Lady, it will always be my pleasure to do so.” I said smiling brightly. “I will except your offer, thank you.” The Lady replied and with one last glance at the boy I left the room, making my way back towards my own residence. 

Immediately upon my return I saw Hild and sat down across from her. “Are you alright?” She asked, probably noticing my puffy eyes due to the tears. “I will be.” I replied with an honest smile. “Did something go wrong?” The nun asked concerned as I shook my head. “No, it’s just…” I started unsure how to finish. “It’s nothing.” I replied with a smile. “When you are ready to tell me I will listen.” Hild replied, shocking me, but I was glad she didn’t press the issue. “Thank you.” I replied as I looked around our empty residence. “Where is Iseult?” I asked, changing the subject. “She went to take a walk to clear her mind.” Hild explained. “What about Leofric and Uhtred? Neither has returned yet?” I asked looking around our residence. Even most of the priest had gone off somewhere. “They had come back not long after you left.” Hild replied as I turned my head to face her. “Where are they now?” I asked confused. “They’ve gone to fight the Danes.” The nun added as I stood up. “Wha… how?” I asked completely taken aback. “Uhtred saw a couple of ships upon the Severn this morning.” Hild started explaining. “He and King Alfred decided to attack before there were able to join forces with Guthrum’s army. According to Leofric Uhtred has come up with a plan of attack to reclaim Wintanceaster.” Hild added as I looked at my still banded hands. The burning feeling had subside, but I still was unable to hold a sword, or even a stick for that matter. I sighed deeply as I sat back down. “Is something wrong?” Hild asked concerned as she looked at my hands as well. I softly shook my head before replying. “Not really, it’s just…” I started as I turned my head to face the Severn. “I want to be useful too in this battle.” I said disheartened. “You already have.” Hild’s reply took me by surprise. “By convincing the King and Queen you gave them the heart to fight back.” She explained as I sighed. “That might be true, but… I want to be useful on the battlefield.” I explained looking at the nun in front of me. “Even as a small child I’ve always wanted to learn how to fight alongside my brother, but my father did not allow it of course.” I continued, my head leaning upon my hands. “And now I finally am starting to do what I’ve always desired I am stuck here.” I concluded and sighed once more. “There is no need to rush things now. There will be more than enough battles to come.” Hild said walking towards me, putting a hand upon my shoulder. “For now, let your hands heal and keep training.” The nun spoke gently as I smiled weakly at her. “I know.” I replied sighing once more. “You are still young.” Hild added as I chuckled. “Why do you always have to be right?” I said, a slightly annoyance noticeable in my voice as the nun laughed. “Because it’s God’s will.” She replied as I smiled at her, a smile she returned.

Slowly the day passed by, and soon the evening fell. Iseult was the first to return. After my conversation with Hild, I had thought of what to say to the pagan Queen, in order to help her. “How are you?” I asked as she sat down at the table across from me. Hild had started preparing dinner. “I’ll be fine.” She replied as I offered her a soft smile. “I am sorry for this morning, I did not know how to comfort you…” I started as the Lady looked at me. “I know that taking another child’s life to save the King’s must have been far from easy but hear me when I say this. It has given Alfred the strength to fight back against the Danes.” I said as I walked over towards Iseult sitting down next to her. “Right now as we speak, Uhtred and Leofric along with the other warriors have started the fight against the Danes, all thanks to you.” I continued grabbing Iseult her hands. “We will reclaim Wintanceaster thanks to you, for which I will be ever grateful.” I concluded as Iseult smiled softly at me, a small tear leaving her eyes. “Thank you.” She replied honestly relieved as I offered her a smile in return. “It is us who should thank you.” I replied confident, my smile never wavering when suddenly Iseult embraced me. She had taken me by surprise, but I soon returned the embrace, as she held onto me tightly. 

Once Iseult started to let go of me, Uhtred and Leofric arrived at our residence. Hild, Iseult and I immediately turned towards them. “How did it go?” Hild asked as Uhtred’s face lit up. “We burned their ships to the ground.” He replied proudly, as we all cheered. It had been just the start, but it had started off with a great victory. Hild, and I had prepared dinner for the brave warriors, as they ate eagerly. “Here you should eat some more.” Iseult said, handing Uhtred some extra food. “I really wish I could have seen it.” I said, swallowing my food happily. “The biggest fight has yet to come.” Uhtred reminded me. “I really hope my hands will have healed enough by then.” I said, looking at Uhtred with hopeful eyes. “Don’t rush things. Let them heal. There will be more battles in the future to come.” The Dane added as I sighed. “Don’t waste your strength on talking her out of it.” Hild said as I looked at the nun. “If she could, she would have ran after you today.” Hild said much too my dislike. “Hild!” I said embarrassed as all eyes were on me. “Fighting? With those hands?” Leofric bumped into the conversation. “Well, no… I can’t, but...” I tried to defense my selfish desire. “Unless you want to get killed, you should train more first.” Uhtred spoke harshly, yet it was the truth. I sighed again, staring at my food. “I am sorry, I must look like a child with this behavior. Wanting to fight in a war.” I said, barely facing any of them. “There is no need to apologize.” Hild said, putting her arm around my shoulders. “As long as you don’t rush into battle before you are ready.” Uhtred said with a grin as I chuckled. “I won’t, I promise.” I replied with a smile. 

“So what will happen now?” Hild asked, turning her attention to both men. “King Alfred has ordered a meeting for next morning to discuss our next step in reclaiming Wintanceaster.” Leofric replied as I looked at the man. “There should be no need for this meeting.” Uhtred added, sounding a bit annoyed. “Why not, isn’t a meeting always useful?” I asked not understanding his annoyance. “There is nothing to discuss. It can only be done one way.” Uhtred replied looking at me. “And that is?” Hild asked. “One defining battle.” The Dane replied, more confident then I had ever heard him before. “The Arseling is right, it’s the only way.” Leofric added. “Well if you are so sure, then indeed, why this meeting?” I asked starting to get confused. “Wulfhere does not agree.” Uhtred responded as I turned to Leofric for a clearer explaination. “The King’s most trusted guard, has second guesses about this plan.” Leofric added as I nod, before turning my gaze back towards Uhtred. “Then all you have to do is outsmart this Wulfhere’s reasoning, isn’t it?” I replied as if it was that easy. Uhtred grinned at my reply as he looked at me. “You should come.” He spoke to my surprise. “Me?” I asked astonished. “Yes, so you can learn.” The Dane added. “Learning how to win a meeting?” I asked, not sure if our minds were on the same track. “Learning how annoying they can be.” Uhtred replied as I laughed. “Well then, in that case I will come.” I replied happily. I probably will not be joining this one defining battle, but this meeting was a start. My first steps to becoming a great warrior.

I had gone to bed early that night, but found myself unable to sleep, probably due to the excitement for tomorrow’s meeting. Uhtred may have called them annoying and unnecessary, but to me it was all but that. I sat up straight, wanting to go for a small stroll, hoping that the fresh air would calm my racing heart. “You really should try to get some sleep.” Hild her voice startled me, as I just got out of the hammock. “I didn’t wake you, did I?” I asked ashamed as the nun shook her head. “You did not.” She replied, but I wasn’t entirely sure if she had spoken the truth. “Unable to fall asleep?” The nun asked as I nod. “Weird isn’t it?” I replied, trying to act innocent as Hild gave me her all knowing smile. “I can’t help it…” I said and sighed. “It’s alright. Would you care if I joined you for a walk?” Hild suggest as I nod happily. “I would love that.” I replied honestly as she got out of the hammock, and together we made our way towards the Severn. The sky was filled with stars, and the moon shone brightly. “Do you think it can be done?” I asked, turning to the nun. “Reclaiming Wintanceaster.” I added. “That is something for the Lord to decided.” Hild replied as I chuckled. “Are you planning on returning to your nunnery in case we are able to reclaim it?” I asked looking at her. “I have been thinking about that, but I am not sure.” Hild replied to my surprise. “Why not?” I asked curiously. “I find that after living in these Swamplands there is more in this world than a life at a nunnery, and there are more ways to pray to God and ask him for his guidance.” Hild said, looking at me with her soft eyes. “For example, I am sure he guided me to meet all of you.” She added honestly. “In that case I thank Him.” I replied. 

“What about you? What will you do if we were to reclaim Wintanceaster?” Hild asked as I thought about it for few seconds. I hadn’t really considered it yet, all I knew was that I wanted to train more sword-skill, and become a warrior, to be able to defend myself. “I think…” I started still considering my options. “I think I am going to stay with Uhtred and the others.” I replied. “I want to learn how to fight decently with a sword and Uhtred and Leofric are great swordsman and good teachers, and then there is also Iseult. I would love to learn more about her healing potions.” I spoke proudly, as I had found a new life here in these Swamplands. “That indeed sounds right for you.” Hild encourage me. “It does?” I said a bit surprised yet thankful. “I mean, I hope it does. I feel at ease around them, and you for that matter. It’s a feeling I haven’t had in over a year and I want to treasure it.” I added as I looked up at the stars. “Maybe I should come along as well then.” Hild said as I jerked my head to look at her. “For real?” I asked, my excitement clearly noticeable in my voice as I smiled brightly. Hild chuckled at my reaction as we reached the shore of the Severn. The moonlight was reflecting upon the water, creating a beautiful view. “It’s gorgeous.” I said astonished as the wind blew through my hair. I put a few lose strains back behind my ear as I turned to look at Hild. “Come with us.” I spoke suddenly, yet confident as Hild turned to face me, a bit taken aback by my straight forwardness. “I am sure the others would love to have you as well. Stay with us. It’s like you said, I am sure God guided us here, for all 5 of us to meet.” I added, my voice unwavering as Hild stared at me, before she started laughing. “What, did I say something funny?” I asked, feeling a bit embarrassed yet confused at the same time. “You really have a special skill in convincing people.” The nun pointed out as I grinned at her. “I’ve indeed heard that before.” I replied proudly. It was silent for a few minutes before the nun spoke again. “In that case, I will stay.” Hild finally gave in as I smiled at her, before turning my gaze up towards the sky again, closing my eyes.

A warm feeling burned within my chest. It put me at ease as I felt safe. After I had been alone for so long I had finally found new people I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. A group filled with complete opposites, people you would hardly believe fit together, from Christians to Pagans, warriors to nuns and shadow Queens. I slowly opened my eyes as I felt the wind against my cheeks. I felt at peace, I felt happy, I felt like me. Dear Lord, if you are listening, then hear my call, let me stay with these people till the end of time, for they have become my new course in life, my new family.


	8. Departure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! It has been a while since I last update I know and I apologize!  
> My life has been a rough ride the past months.  
> But here is the next chapter and they are leaving the Swamplands!  
> Enjoy it!

“Agreed we have fired a good number of ships-” “A fleet.” Uhtred corrected Wulfhere. “A fleet.” Wulfhere corrected himself. I sighed as I stood behind Uhtred and Leofric during the morning meeting. It included the fathers Asher and Beocca, the guard Wulfhere, Uhtred and Leofric, along with some of Wulfhere’s men, and even the Lady Aelswith along with both her children sat behind the King. “But in the meantime, we left hundreds of Danes stranded in Wessex, with no means of leaving-” Wulfhere continued, pleading once more against Uhtred his idea. Why this man was so desperately against the best course of action was a mystery to me. Slowly I had come to understand what Uhtred disliked so much about meetings. I had decided to just listen and remain silent during the whole ordeal, as a mere female child would have little input anyway. “Wulfhere I do not believe their intention was to ever leave.” The King correct the man. “And in a few months there will be more ships, more men. Now is the time to fight.” Uhtred said, looking at the guard, once more pointing out why it was their only way to win. “To fight with what? We are without an army, and the Danes will number thousands.” Wulfhere said, having some point for the first time since this meeting started. “Men are out there, Wulfhere, and they are waiting.” Beocca reminded the man. “What they need is the call.” The bald priest added. “Indeed but…” Wulfhere tried, but realized he had lost this conversation. “Lord, what if I was to suggest we escort you to Frankia?” The guard tried a different approach. “That will not happen, I will not hide.” Alfred replied immediately. “Not here, nor in Frankia.” “But Lord-” Wulfhere tried one more time. “I have prayed daily for guidance. To only way I see to save Wessex is what we have begun, one defining battle.” Alfred continued as I smiled. I knew the King and Uhtred had not always seen eye to eye, but now, with such an important battle coming up, the two seemed to combine their strengths to take back our homeland. “We shall be leaving the Marshes, with courage and faith.” The King added, looking at Uhtred with a proud smile, which Uhtred returned. “Amen.” Both priest Beocca and Asser said, as Wulfhere followed after as our meeting came to an end. 

Together the three of use made our way back towards our residence. “So how was your first meeting.” Uhtred asked, a little mocking. “Awful.” I replied with a chuckled as both man grinned. “Do not say I did not warn you.” Uhtred pointed out as I sighed. “I know, but that man, Wulfhere, he was so unreasonable.” I said, still amazed by the man’s dislike in the plan. “I mean, I am no warrior by far, but even I can see that this plan of attack is our best option.” I added as we reached our place. “Some men are just not worthy to lead.” Uhtred replied simply. “Or like to listen to a Pagan.” Leofric added as I chuckled. “Fair point.” I replied as we reached the others. “How did it go?” Iseult asked. “We march tomorrow morning.” Uhtred said happily as he hugged his lover. “I haven’t seen him this excited before.” Hild said, as she walked up to me and Leofric. “You should see the man on the battlefield. He lives for a fight.” Leofric said as I stared at the half Dane. “He is a true Dane by heart.” I spoke, just loud enough for the two next to me to hear, but too quiet to reach Uhtred’s ears. 

“We should start packing soon.” Uhtred said, as I looked at him. “What about some food first?” I asked, as we hadn’t had breakfast yet due to this meeting. “We have all day left, don’t rush.” Iseult said as she winked at me. I smiled at her as I went to get some food. “Yes, if you rush things, you might get yourself killed, remember.” I said daring as I walked past Uhtred, reminding him of his own words from last night. I could feel Uhtred’s eyes lingering upon me, as I proudly went to get some bread and fruits. “Someone has started feeling more confident.” Leofric pointed out as Hild smiled, along with Iseult as Uhtred snickered.

After breakfast we had all started packing our belongings, which of course wasn’t much as we had fled in a hurry. Hild had asked me over and over again if my hands had healed enough to help them gather wood for the coming trip as I had to reassure the nun many times. But our group hadn’t been the only ones who had started packing, the priests and even the King had started doing the same. The King’s guard Wulfhere had already departed in order to gather his man, along with multiple horses. It was a long ride back to Wintanceaster after all. As soon as Hild and I returned from the woods, we started bonding the twigs together in order to carry them more easily. “That should be enough.” I said panting, staring at the four packs of wood. When I looked up I saw a very surprising scenery. “Is that Uhtred talking to father Beocca, a priest?” I said completely taken aback, as I stared at my three companions. “He is the Arseling his Christian conscious.” Leofric said with a scoff. “You mean they are acquaintances?” I added dumbfounded. “Beocca is like a father to Uhtred. They have known each other since before Uhtred was adopted by the Danes.” Iseult explained as I turned my gaze from Iseult to Uhtred and Beocca. This Dane… even after being together with this man for nearly 2 months, he still intrigued me. I smiled softly at the scene before continuing my work.

Slowly the day passed by as all things had been gathered right before the dark. The sun had set behind the horizon, as only the light of the fire lit the place. Uhtred, Iseult, Leofric, Hild and I had gathered together around the fire sitting in silences. 2 moons had passed since arriving in these Swamplands, yet it had felt so much longer. My life at my uncle’s seemed like a life time ago, yet the scares remained with me, reminding me of their recentness. I looked at Iseult, who was leaning against Uhtred’s chest. Slowly I turned my gaze towards Hild, who warmed her hands at the fire, and finally my eyes rested on Leofric who was sharpening his sword. Tonight would be our last night together like this. The idea of leaving this place filled me with a certain type of fear I did not recognize. “I can’t wait to leave these lands.” Hild spoke, breaking the silence. I jerked my head to face the nun, surprise written all over my face. “A bed would be nice for a change indeed.” Leofric agreed as I turned to face the warrior. “Is none of you a little sad to leave this place?” I asked, curiously. “Are you?” Uhtred asked, without replying to my question as I looked at the Dane. “Would it be strange if I said yes?” I asked, my voice no louder than a whisper, afraid of their response. “A bit.” Leofric said, but smirked at me. “No, it is not.” Uhtred spoke after a moment of silence as I stared at him. “What makes you sad to leave here?” Iseult asked as I turned my gaze towards the lady before staring into the fire. “It might sound a bit strange, but I have come to like my new life out here in these unfamiliar lands. A place where people won’t judge your every move, don’t expect anything from you. A place to be free.” I spoke softly as I closed my eyes. “I place where I feel I belong.” I added, as I looked at my four companions. Hild and Iseult both gave me a soft smile, Leofric snickered while Uhtred remained neutral.

“The journey does not end here.” Uhtred broke the silence again. “Neither does a place make a home. The people do.” The Dane added, astonishing me. I stared at him for longer than I should have, but I just did not know how to reply. “What the Arseling is trying to say: you don’t need to feel sad about leaving, as it will be the start of something new.” Leofric said smiling, as I slowly turned my gaze towards the man. I smiled back at him before finding my voice. “In that case, I will not be sad as I look forward to what the future will hold.” I replied a warm feeling filling within me, which was not cause by the fire. These people, I had been destined to meet them. On the day of the ambush, I had met them under such a random circumstances. For meeting these people on that particular day, I would God be forever grateful.

Once the sun rose the next morning, we had already grabbed our belongings, making our way towards the boats aligned to the Severn. This morning Iseult had unbandaged my hands for me. All blisters were gone, but they still felt a bit sore, yet I was glad as they had healed nicely. With my sword hanging around my waist, a pack with cloths and a small pack of wood upon my back, I made my way towards the Severn. I took my place on the boat, sitting at the front. Hild and Iseult behind me, followed by Leofric and then Uhtred who moved the boat with a pole. The ride on the Severn was peaceful, as it reminded me of the day we arrived here. I closed my eyes and sniffed the air of the Marshland, a smell that would stay with me forever. “So what are we going to do once we reach the land?” Hild asked, looking behind her at Uhtred. “We will make our way to Wulfhere and his men. They will horses prepared for us.” Uhtred explained as I listened carefully. “Then we go to Odda’s estate.” The Dane added. I quickly turned my gaze towards Leofric, but the men seemed unaffected by the mentioning of his Lord’s name. “The Dane holding Wintanceaster, Guthrum, is he as strong is the one named Ubba, you defeated at Cynuit?” I asked, for the first time taken a real interest in these Danes. “He is not as strong, but more cunning.” Uhtred replied. “That doesn’t sound so bad.” I replied looked at the water. “Not if you count the fact that he has thousands of men at his command.” Leofric added as I laughed awkwardly. “Yes…” I muttered softly. 

“What about this lady we met on our way out of Wintanceaster?” Hild spoke suddenly as all eyes were on her. “Brida?” Leofric asked. “Will she be at the fight as well?” Hild asked as Uhtred sighed. “She will.” He replied briefly as I looked at him. “Than what about this person you told Brida to inform about you.” I asked, not remember the name of this Dane. “My brother will be there as well.” Uhtred replied looking at me. “Can you fight them?” Hild dared to ask the question I could not. “If it comes to that I will.” Uhtred replied confident, as the conversation ended. No one dared to pry any further into this subject, so I turned my gaze towards the Swamplands. Soon the Marshes would make way for the lining of trees, were we would go ashore. I looked across the water at the other boats caring the King, father Beocca, father Asser and some more priests and guards. The King’s wife and children had remained in the Swamplands along with a couple of priests, as the battlefield was no place for them. 

I looked over the edge of the boat, staring at my reflection into the water. The braid in my hair was still pretty much in place. I slightly touched the water, disturbing my image. The water felt cold, yet refreshing and for once, my hands did not hurt while touching it. “Are your hands alright?” Iseult asked, looking at them. “They are nearly completely healed.” I replied getting them out of the water. “Thank you for the potion, without that it would have taken weeks to heal.” I added with a smile. “Once this battle against the Danes is over, I would like to learn how to make potions too.” I continued proudly, yet Iseult suddenly dropped her smile. “I did not offend you, did I?” I asked worried, the emotion written all over my face as Iseult scoffed. “No, do not worry.” She replied, yet did not explain her diminished mood. I looked at her for a few seconds, before turning my gaze aside, not daring to ask her. 

“We’re here.” Uhtred’s voice broke the silence, as I looked at the shore. Carefully we aligned the boat alongside the river bank as we all got onto the mainland. I grabbed my stuff from the boat, readying myself to move onwards to our meeting point with Wulfhere. “We move.” Uhtred ordered once everyone had gathered their belongings. The Dane walked up front, closely followed by the King, a couple of priest and his Pagan queen. Behind them walked Hild, father Beocca and I, with father Asser and Leofric at the back. “Aren’t you a bit young to join us?” Beocca’s voice startled me as I jerked my head sideways to look at the priest. “I might be yes.” I replied, a small smile covering my face. “Then would it not have been better if you had stayed at the Swamplands?” The priest continued as I sighed. “I did not wish to sit back and watch.” I replied, looking ahead, my eyes lingering upon Uhtred’s back. “I am just following the path God has shown me.” I continue, turning my head back to face Beocca. “As He entwined my fate to Uhtred.” I added softly, for Beocca, and maybe Hild to hear, but no one else. Beocca smiled at me. “He has become a great man.” Beocca replied as I nod in agreement. “And a good teacher.” I added proudly a bright smile upon my face. 

Suddenly Uhtred told us to hold, as he looked ahead through the tree lining. Leofric made his way up to the front. “Is there something wrong?” I asked, looking at Hild who looked ahead as well. “I do not know.” The nun replied, confused too. Slowly Uhtred and Leofric walked a bit away from the group, when suddenly a man from behind a tree, immediately grabbing his sword. “Stay away! I have skills!” The man yelled, trembling at just the sight of Uhtred and Leofric. “Hold that peace of tin away, boy.” Leofric replied not frightened in the least. “Oh thank Christ, you are English.” The man replied, lowering his sword. “I thought you were one of them…” He continued looking at Uhtred in particular. “With that hair.” He added, explaining his reasoning to mistake us for Danes. “Where is the Ealdorman Wulfhere?” Uhtred asked, not seeing anyone around but this man along with a couple of horses. “Gone Lord.” The man replied as he looked at Leofric, still slightly frightened of our half Dane. “I am Halig. I take care of these horses.” The man introduced himself, yet no one really listened. “Gone where?” Uhtred demanded an answer, as he walked towards the man Halig. “Now I’m thinking on it Lord, he did not say.” Halig replied, only now realizing how odd this was for Wulfhere to abandon us. “I thought you would know.” Halig added, as Alfred approached the man. “Wulfhere where is he?” Alfred asked, putting his hoodie off his head. “He is gone Lord.” Uhtred replied and sighed. “Lord!” Halig spoke surprised to see the man, as he put his sword in the ground, bowing to his King. “He has gone where?” Alfred asked again. “He didn’t say.” Halig replied. This man may not be the brightest, but he was honest at least. “He has left you horses Lord.” Halig tried to make up for the absence of Wulfhere. “We should keep moving.” Uhtred said as the King turned to face him. “Without Wulfhere?” Alfred asked, not pleased by the idea. “Our plan does not change. We make our way to Odda’s estate.” Uhtred replied, grabbing his belongings before making his way towards one of the horses. It remained silent for a while, before the King nod, as we all went towards a horse ourselves. 

I walked towards a fine, dark brown horse. “Hey there.” I spoke to my horse, softly stroking his mane. “I am going to load my belongings onto you, so there is no need to be frightened.” I said softly as I kept stroking his mane. I petted his neck, before making my way towards the saddle, carefully binding my belonging to it, staring with the pack of wood, followed by the cloths. “Did you just speak just speak to the horse?” I turned around to face our new companion, Halig. “I did yes.” I replied not understanding his point. The man snickered before replying. “Why would anyone do such a thing?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “Why wouldn’t we?” I replied utterly confused. “Halig!” Father Asser had cried out to the man. With one last glance at me the man made his way towards Father Asser. “What is wrong with that man?” I asked, as I looked at Hild, who had taken the horse standing next to mine. “Is not a common sight to see someone talking to their horse.” Hild replied, taking me aback. “It is not?” I asked out loud. “Not really no.” The nun confirmed as I looked at my beautiful horse. “Who taught you to speak to it?” Hild asked, as she brushed her horse with some straw. “My mother. She taught me that when someone talks to their horse they are more likely to trust you.” I replied, grabbing some straw myself. 

“I did not know your mother was a Dane.” Uhtred his voice shocked me, as I turned to look at the man. He stood only a few feet away from me, holding onto a pack of wood. “She is not.” I replied utterly confused by the Dane’s statement. “My mother was a Saxon.” I added, turning around to face Uhtred, who looked slightly confused by now as well. “Only Dane’s talk to their horses.” Uhtred said, explaining his confusion about my mother’s identity as he neared me. “So you speak to horses as well?” I asked, as he nod. “I do yes.” Uhtred replied, yet still this did not explain why my mother did as well, till a suddenly realization hit me. “A slave…” I whispered my eyes staring at the ground. “My mother used to be a slave!” I said, collection my thoughts as I looked at Uhtred. “She never told me much about it, as we did not speak of it at home, but if she knew about speaking to horses…” I started, still trying to come to terms with the fact which my mind had just concluded. “That means your mothers had been captured by Danes.” Uhtred finished my line of thoughts as I nod and scoffed, trying to calm my still racing mind. But if my mother was a slave to Danes, does that mean my real father…

“There you are Arseling.” Leofric his voice brought me back to reality, breaking my line of thoughts. “Alfred wants us to scout ahead, to see if the road is clear.” Leofric added as Uhtred nod. “I’ll be there.” The Dane replied to his friend before turning to me one more time, putting a hand upon my shoulder. “Keep talking to your horse, they are listening.” Uhtred said with a grin as I smiled at him. “I will.” I replied as both men left. I sighed as I turned back to my horse, brushing her with the straw. “Now I wish she had told me more about her past…” I spoke out loud, yet mostly spoke to myself. “I think she most certainly tried to protect you.” Hild her voice reached me as I stared at the nun. “A life as a slave is hardly a good one.” Hild said, as I sighed. “Please don’t remind me…” I replied as I stopped brushing my horse once more. “It’s just… I feel like I still need answer to questions I didn’t even know I had up till now. Answers I doubt all ever get.” I added disheartened as Hild gave me a reassuring smile. “If these questions indeed need to be answered, you will find them.” Hild said, surprising me. “God will lead you to them.” The nun added as I grinned at her. “I guess you are right, as always.” I added before turning to my horse. “Then I really hope he has not yet forsaken me…” I whispered to myself, looking up at the blue sky, through the trees.


End file.
